I Was In A Dominant/Submissive Relationship

being dominated


How one woman chose, and enjoyed, to be dominated.

I texted him as soon as I woke up.

"What do you want me to wear today?"

I brushed my teeth and washed my face while I waited for him to text me back.

"White button-down shirt. Tuck it in. Your jeans. Flats. Put your hair in a ponytail. Send me a photo."

I dressed as instructed, then stood before the wall-length mirror in my apartment's hallway. Smiling into the mirror, I snapped a photo on my iPhone and sent it to Ben*.

Thirty seconds later, a text message: "Very nice." Then I knew I could leave for work.

Ben was not abusive. I was not being hurt, nor was I unhappy. We were in a dominant/submissive relationship—or playing at one, anyway—and following his orders got me unbelievably, unbelievably turned on. The Frisky: Why Independent Women Like To Be Dominated

I have written before about all my drama with Ben: He cheated on his girlfriend, Rachel, with me; he lied about going on a break with her for me; I was so upset when I found out he lied that I emailed her and told her he'd been cheating, etc. But I haven't been totally forthcoming about the nature of our relationship. Ben and I weren't just friends who became attracted to each other; we were both extremely, extremely interested in exploring sexual roles as a dom (him) and a sub (me). The Frisky: Do You Feel Guilty About Sex?

Ben cheated on his girlfriend with me, I can now clearly see, because he has strong, natural impulses to dominate a woman in bed and his girlfriend, Rachel, wouldn't let him. When we were just close friends, Ben would gripe to me about how he and Rachel rarely had sex. As time passed, Ben and I talked frequently over IM or over the phone and flirted with each other more and more. It's not exactly a secret that I have a fetish about being spanked and at some point—clearly crossing the line of what was appropriate for a guy with a girlfriend and his cute single friend to be discussing—Ben told me he loved spanking women. He loved it. He loved all types of light, sexual domination play—tying women up, using his paddle, hair-pulling—and his girlfriend, Rachel, wasn't into any of that. And when it came to outside-of-bed stuff, Ben described Rachel as resisting his natural inclination towards leadership. She didn't particularly like him being protective towards her and he said they bickered constantly. The Frisky: First Time For Everything: Spanking

So, you can see why I saw an "in" here. The Frisky: MERRIMe, A New Web Comedy About Online Dating



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