Apple Bans 5,000 Sexy Apps
Who knew Apple was so prude? A Wobble i-Boobs app unleashes a clampdown.
In a world where prostitutes pen advice columns, reality stars leak naked pictures to our favorite blogs and we can't open a paper without reading all the gritty details about a public figure's "sext" messages, one would think bathing suits on i-Phone apps would be the most benign of all our daily sexual tortures. Tiger Woods Hookup: He Likes Threesomes and Dudes
Well, Apple disagrees, thinks you're dirty, and wants nothing to do with your prurient string bikinis littering its precious user faces. The company recently banned 5 000 i-Phone apps deemed inappropriate for the fragile eyes of users. Among them? Online retailers selling bathing suits and a silly app called Wobble i-Boobs, where one can upload picture, shake and have the chest area move. (eye roll) Just your garden variety junior high school boy humor. Barely titillating, if at all. Men Are Like Cell Phones
According to chillifresh.com, not only are women in bathing suits prohibited, but men too. Ice skating tights are also seen as the culprit for awaking too much lust (what is this—the 17th century?). In fact, Apple won't sign off on any skin whatsoever and the words: boobs, booty, babes and sex are all banned. In the words of a developer in close contact with these evil Apple rulers, "No apps will be approved that in any way imply sexual content or are in anyway sexually Push Their Buttons!."
What is their "sexually arousing" litmus? An 11-year-old boy just discovering women? The opinions of Amish grandmothers? Phil Schiller, an Apple marketing VP says the ban comes in response to customer complaints.
Sigh. One can only wistfully reminisce at the Wild West days of i-Phone apps where gay men could upload Grindr and find a hook-up, women could purchase a bikini and those with ice skater stocking fetishes could gaze longingly without judgement.