Sex is kinda like a cell phone. You can live without it, but in the end, would you really want to? Like our cell phones, we all end up taking what we can get in a pinch. We may not be happy with the phone (or person) we choose, but sometimes anything can be better than nothing.
I've taken the liberty to analyze the various sexual shenanigans we get ourselves into, and I think I've come onto something. I'm starting to think that our sexual partners closely resemble that of our cellular telephone devices. Think I'm full of s**t? Well read on, nonbeliever.
The Crap Nokia aka The One-Night Stand
So you're hovering over the frat house toilet seat, trying not to get an STI or pee on yourself, and your phone slips out of your back pocket and plops into the water. Suddenly, you're out of a cell phone and you need one, STAT. Just like getting dumped or running into your ex, I would think of this as a rather desperate situation. So what do you do? You go for the next easy thing that comes along and satisfies your basic needs. Just like your friend's gigantic Nokia phone with Snake and an antenna, a one night stand will be there for you when you need one thing and one thing only. You may use Mr. Nokia for a night or two, but you can bet you'll toss that puppy as soon as something better comes along.
The Motorola Razor aka The Friend with Benefits
Like a good friend, the Razor will always be there waiting for you when you need it. Even though it came out, like, twelve years ago, you can always get this puppy in a pinch without feeling totally desperate...
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