Hailey Glassman: Jon Gosselin's Penis Is 'So Tiny'

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Hailey Glassman
Jon's ex featured in sketchy magazine looking like a hooker, saying stupid things.

Against all odds, some members of the media are still interested in what Jon Gosselin's ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman has to say. Hailey is the cover story in next week's issue of Steppin' Out, which is apparently a real magazine, even though the cover art makes it look like a third grade Photoshop project. Featured on it is a very uncomfortable-looking Hailey wearing some kind of leopard-print boob sling, Pink undies and fingerless motorcyle gloves against a plain background. The pièce de résistance? An arrow pointing to her body, accompanied by the tagline "JUDGE THIS HATERS!"

OK, we will! Our ruling: Hailey's 15 minutes are just about up. And the end can't come soon enough.

In Hailey's interview, she calls Jon "vicious and evil...a textbook sociopath," and claims that he owes her money. (Get in line behind Kate, please, ma'am.) But as any mature woman would do, she spent the bulk of the discussion dishing about Jon's manhood...or lack thereof. (Evidently, it's not "vicious" to constantly taunt your boyfriend about the size of his package.)

"He's hung like a nine-year-old boy," she snipes. "I'm serious. This is true," she adds, even claiming he measures up to "3 inches." The angry ex-girlfriend surmises that "anybody who sleeps with him will notice. It's very noticeable. It's so tiny, tiny, tiny."

But Gosselin didn't think it was very funny at all. "He said, 'You know how subconscious [sic] I am of down there,' Glassman recalls. She admits she wasn't very sensitive about the topic. "I would tell him to his face, 'I don't think you would cheat on me because you're so small.' I would tell him that all the time." [Source: Us Weekly]

That the size of Jon Gosselin's "brain" doesn't match his ego isn't really much of a shock. It might be funny news if we weren't so sick of hearing about the guy and grossed out when forced to imagine his naughty bits. Jon Gosselin Has A Sex Tape And A Drug Habit

So, if nothing else, Hailey Glassman accomplished the following with this classy cover feature: 1) She's warned people against using big words like "subconscious" unless they're sure they know what they mean. 2) She's somehow made Jon and Kate seem like normal, almost respectable members of society.

Photo via Us Weekly.