He'll never tell, but we will.
By Phil Dotree
Men are proud of their sexual exploits. That’s why we brag about them like idiots. However, during the actual act, some guys are much more uptight than they let on — sometimes uptight enough that they fail to really enjoy the experience.
Here’s a look at some common reasons for male self-consciousness during sex, and what you can do to boost a nervous guy’s ego.
1. Um, hands?
Many men have no idea what to do with their hands, and we’ll worry that we’re being clumsy and awkward. This, of course, causes us to become clumsy and awkward. Our hands will be all over the place, grabbing on to any skin we can find. Sexy, eh?
Usually, once we’ve been having sex with the same person for a while, we’ll gradually get more comfortable and this one clears up on its own.
2. Our Guts
Many guys worry about the size of their guts, even if they don’t really have visible guts. They may just worry about weight in general. Hey, we don’t want to crush the person we’re with, but sometimes that’s what it feels like when we’re on top.
Plus, there’s the psychological embarrassment of simply being naked with another person. If you’re with a guy who’s at all concerned about his weight, chances are good that those concerns triple when he’s nude.
Switching occasionally to a woman-on-top position can take the edge off these weight concerns.
3. Orgasms (And Not Just Ours)
Men are wired to think about orgasms during sex — on our side, the “just enjoy it” concept is very hard to understand, because for men, sex has a goal, and that goal is the orgasm.
We’ll get very worried if a woman doesn’t have an orgasm during sex. For the majority of women, though, this goal isn’t there. An orgasm is nice, but the sex itself is the draw. Most men are completely unaware of this, and they’ll judge their own manhood by the number of orgasms that they’ve given out in their lifetimes (474, by the way). Simply telling them that your goal is not a big orgasm will lead to a better time for everyone involved.
4. The Penis
Yeah, you knew this would be on here, didn’t you? Guys do worry about their junk, and their worries fall into pretty expected areas — they worry whether they’re big enough, or whether they’re using what they’ve got, er, correctly. Guys worry about what you’re thinking most of all, and how it relates to their status as a man.
Let them know what you’re thinking, and you’ll soothe their nerves. A little bit of verbal encouragement can be hugely helpful, even for average-sized guys. If he’s got nothing to worry about, let him know. Hey, every guy likes a compliment about his genitals.
Not all guys are self-conscious, of course, but if you’ve got a guy who seems to develop a severe nervous condition every time he strips down, being a bit empathetic can help improve things a bit.
Ever get self-conscious during sex? Share your thoughts below.