Community Blog: Why Women Are Wrong About Porn
Sometimes I'm very irritated with women's abhorrence for porn.
I have a hard time pinpointing exactly why, but I'm sometimes very irritated with women's abhorrence for porn while I agree that probably most things about how the industry works is very wrong, but I don't think that porn in itself is necessarily a bad thing. I'm also convinced that more or less all men consume it to some extent, and very few are addicted to it. Some women also enjoy porn, but I'm not one of them, I'm not "visual" in that respect.
What miffs me is first and foremost the way women discuss the females who make a living that way. It's true that many aren't treated well, are too young and not paid well enough and so on. However, women who get all worked up over the "exploitation" of the sex-workers have no problems with buying clothes, furniture, fabrics etc that are produced by veritable (child) slave labor. Regarding sweat shops, child labor and so on, no-one is suggesting that we should stop buying clothes and furniture altogether, but rather that we need more consumer awareness and these industries must take responsibility for where the goods is coming from and how and by whom it's made.
What I'm saying is that imo rather than condemning porn as a whole we need something along the lines of a "fair trade" system/label on porn. The industry should not be run by people on the fringes of criminal organizations that operate in human trafficking, there should be a minimum age (25?), the working conditions must be properly regulated and that sort of thing. Porn that feeds violence, rape, and abuse of minors etc should not be tolerated either.
What I can't agree with is the view that all female sex-workers are victims, and either mentally disturbed and ill or forced/lured into the industry. Certainly, the way the industry is operated in large parts of the world today too many women are indeed victims, but there are also many who do it of their own free will and do not need to be "saved from themselves". If a grown up woman chooses this line of work, then I don't see why society should object. And incidentally, I don't see anyone being worried about the fate of the male sex-workers. All in all it looks to me like our strong reaction against porn is based on a very Victorian idea about women: A woman who is sexually promiscuous is either mentally ill or a victim, and having sex with several men or her naked body seen by a multitude of men, is unnatural and will inevitably lead to her destruction.
Incidentally, a young female feminist researcher in my neck of the woods recently conducted a study on the local sex workers (mainly prostitution). Her conclusion was that, contrary to popular belief, for the women it can be a job just like any other, the majority of them are not victims of child-abuse or rape, nor drug addicts, and are able to move on with their lives without having suffered any apparent damage.
Discussion
Screw all this stuff about how women are objectified in porn. If they're being objectified so much, then put more guys in porn. And hotter guys.
I'll love the day when I find a free porn site where all the men are hot, all the women look normal, and women aren't orgasming while giving a guy a blowjob.
That's probably why women don't like porn, because it sucks. I'm sure there are some women out there who get off from watching a very fake looking female with no acting skills blowing one ugly ass dude while getting done in the ass by another, but yeah not many. Porn sucks.
Shelley Lubben's site is a sweet and a total insight into what some women go through...
Male and Female stars have commited suicide...this is not cool..
I would say that while depiction of adult sexuality shouldn't have to be "abhorred"....there should also be a realistic side to all things within the prostitutional realm...
I am an exporn actor. I went by the name Rod Pierce from 1980-1982 performed in 14 films (starring in 4).
My biggest objection to our society's prudish reaction to porn is that we are a culture who openly celebrates violence. We watch men beat each other in boxing,wrestling, ufc . We watch football and hockey. Men and women are sent off to die in SYNTHESIZED CASH GENERATING WARS in Iraq and Afghanistan. There are slasher films with bloody graphic scenes. Our children play brutal video games and that is acceptable by most standards.
But when a woman bares her breast nipple, objections start; depict a couple having intercourse and people scream with self-righteous indignation. This is a major flaw in our collective consciences.
I applaud you for exposing the double standard of women who object to females in porn but give nary a second thought to buying goods that further child labor or slave labor from foreign countries.
I also condemn anyone who would damn the performers or dismiss them as whores and amoral but who still watches and self-pleasures to the videos themselves. Those people are the most deplorable hypocrites.
A few reactions:
1. Don't try to write off someone's arguments against porn by saying that they're really against it because they're insecure that their lover likes the other women's bodies better. It's not fair, it's not a convincing argument that porn is okay, and the other side can use that kind of argument on you. Maybe you wrote this article because your lover watches homemade snuff movies and you want to believe it's okay and you're mad at your mom for telling you it isn't. (I don't believe this is true.)
2. If you wouldn't want someone you love to star in a porn movie, can you justify watching it?
3. Should people who boycott sweatshop labor or demonstrate against globalization stop watching porn unless they know it was produced in a good environment?
4. A study by someone you know in your area is not conclusive proof that all porn stars are just doing a job. Just the fact that very young women are preferred makes it hard for me to believe that they aren't being exploited.
5. A lot of people think porn is wrong. They are going to judge the women who make the movies. Looking at the women as victims of the system was probably a step forward. If they're not victims, we should be honest, but we should also expect that they will be called worse names.
6. There are a lot of other criticism one can make of porn. Most of the porn that is out there is very much biased towards men. I don't think it's good for women any more than I think a lot of Cosmo articles are good for women. Porn in the abstract might not be so bad, but porn in the real world often is.
6. Porn is a very complicated issue. Many women get upset when their lovers use it. I don't think we should get mad at them. That's how they feel. The couple needs to work it out. There are men who believe that using porn is bad for you and takes energy away from your partner. If your partner is very upset by it, maybe you shouldn't use it. If you find it is bad for you, maybe it is. It's not all clear to me.
I was vehemently against porn - until I actually started watching it. Now I'm one of those women who actually enjoys it. (And I respectfully disagree with Gauntlet - my partner watches it as well, and in our case, it doesn't undermine our relationship. It enhances it, and we don't have trust problems as a result. So claiming that porn universally has this effect can't be considered a "fact.")
But I do worry about the women who make porn because like any other industry, some workers are taken care of and valued, and others are not. I would, frankly, feel better getting off to material I knew was produced with consideration for the actresses and actors involved.
I just want to point out that there are feminist porn production companies and people in the industry that do work to ensure the safety, etc., of those onscreen. But it's the amateur stuff that worries me - there is too much content floating around out there that seems to have been produced without going through mainstream channels, and I think this is an industry that should be regulated not to censor the content, but to ensure the safety, consent, and compensation of all involved. And the argument that many people criticize the conditions porn stars work under without giving a thought to the sweatshop conditions under which their possessions are produced is dead on.
Many women are against porn just as some men are, myself included. No matter how it's looked at, no matter how anyone tries to put a positive spin on porn, it's never a good thing. From a moral standpoint it's wrong but instead of approaching my response here with Christian faith and values to give voice to why porn is wrong, I'm going to give another point of view. I don't want anyone to write off what I say as just "well that’s because he is a Christian and against it and that’s it" "but my beliefs are different and porn is fine" and so forth.
Here is some facts to consider. The fact is that porn destroys the trust in a marriage. A person who has a mate that watches porn is bound to feel that they are not good enough. We have all read and seen plenty of women or men in stressed, failing marriages because of porn posting for help on yourtango. The fact is that the majority of all women in porn are either on drugs or some other form of substance abuse to be able to do those films. The STD and suicide stats are very high as well in regards to the performers in porn films. None of these women are happy truly.
People forget that what you see on a screen for a moment is not what the reality of the industry is. I'm going to post something that if anyone is interested they can feel free to read about from a ex porn star who reveals the TRUTH behind porn. Read the truth section on this womans site about porn stars and porn in general and then make that choice for yourself how you feel.
An interesting thing about the link is that it points out how high the rate of STDs is for porn stars. The woman on the site also talks about problems with miscarriages and fertility that could be related to STDs.
I think STDs are a very believable risk of working in porn. It's a good argument against porn that I hadn't thought about.
Thanks for your reply about the link BookMama. I wanted to mention also that I found the video on the main page of the link I posted to be a major point to consider also to the reality of how not only physical but also psychology destructive porn can be. It's not just a few people but that video is proof of many women and men that have commitment suicide or self destruct in some other way.
I realize that people will of course have different points of view regarding the subject, I just have to say that for me personally, watching that video was enough to really realize just how bad it really it is and to give voice to it. The reason I even post Shelly's link is simply to give people who are effected by porn a chance to see someone who has been and knows about the industry to maybe make the person reconsider what they partake in watching.
