How Long Does It Take To Move On From A Breakup?
What does "getting over it" actually mean, and when does it happen?
A new study says it takes the typical person 17 months and 26 days to feel ready to move on after a divorce, which got me thinking: How long does it take to get over a regular ol' breakup (you know, one that doesn't require lawyers)? The answer, of course, is that there isn't one right answer. It took years for me to get over my first love, someone I was with only about ten months. On the other hand, it took about six weeks before I was ready to move on after I ended a four-year, live-in relationship with another boyfriend. Of course, it actually took me the last two years we were together to finally pull the plug, but once I did there was no looking back. The Frisky: The Five Things Women Do Post-Heartbreaking Split
I used to think there was a mathematical equation for getting over an ex, dependent on years together, age, and whether he or she was your first love. There's not, of course, but I still say that in general, for relationships that were less than two years, it's reasonable to think you’ll be over it in about six months. Relationships that were two to four years? Add another six months. And relationships that last over four could take up to 18 months to get over. The Frisky: The Breakup Diaries: Get The %$#@ Out Of My Dreams!
But what does "getting over it" really even mean? Some loves we never truly get over, right? I blame that on the whole idea of "the one." It's easy to romanticize an ex if you think he's the one you were meant to be with, the one who got away. But I'd like to think that "getting over" someone means we arrive at a point where we allow happiness, joy and hope for the future to fill the emptiness our broken relationship created. That and we stop thinking we see him every time we turn around. The Frisky: The Top 10 Things You Learn When You're Heartbroken
So, let's hear it. What's the longest it's taken you to get over an ex? How about the shortest? The Frisky: MERRIMe, A Web Comedy About Online Dating
Written by Wendy Atterberry for The Frisky
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- 30 Things A Woman Should Not Try Before 30
- Who Says Love Don't Cost A Thing?
Discussion
I don't know, I'm still getting over my ex. It took him 30 days to get over me though.
The mathematical equation to getting over an ex= (1/2)(amount of time seriously together)
Utd (up to date) it has taken me so far 8 months to officially get over my ex ever since thursday. We broke up in March for good and I knew I really needed to move on when he told me that he was thinking of proposing to his new girlfriend (his best friend of 10 years).
It's take me 2 week to get over a brake up because I was in love with that preson and it was hard to live hime
Well, it took me about 4 years to get over my first love and we were only together about a year and a half. My most recent boyfriend break up we were together two years, it only took a couple of months (I knew the relationship was over six months before we actually broke up though). But with six months knowing it was over and the two months that I have found someone else. I would say about 8 months to get over my last relationship.
I think it varies per relationship. I was with a guy for a little over a year a few years back. He was literally my first true love. Like I had been in love before but this one was different. I was a wreck for a good 6 months and it still effects me to this day - and it's been 3 years! The first guy I dated after him was only for about 7 months and when it ended I just moved on.
My current boyfriend (ex I guess now) and I had been together for a year and 3 months... he just recently wanted a "break" and of course I took it hard. He had some stuff to figure out in life and obviously didn't want me involved in that decision making. We talked for the first time over the weekend (out with his friends, who obviously became mine)... and I guess he wants to get back together. Since it had been 3 weeks since we last talked, someone else came along that I would be interested in dating - seeing what happens. The BF knows this and I'm not sure if he wants to get back because he realizes stuff, or if it's cos he saw me with the new guy. Him and I had been fighting a lot in the last 2-3 months. It was always about the same thing and it never got fixed (he is a very busy person and just never had time for me). So I took a lot time to think, made some pros/cons lists and just decided it wasn't worth it anymore. I feel bad, but sometimes things just don't work out and it sucks. You could say that I moved on quickly. I still love him to death and care about him... but he hasn't made me happy. He made the decision to take a break, I made the decision that it will be a permanent one. So maybe this break (again, his decision) was good for us both.
I don't think you can really come up with an average in these things. It's going to depend so much on whether or not you wanted the break-up, why you broke-up, how bad things were before the break-up, how long you went out, how much you cared, what your personality is like in the first place, how much support you have from friends and family, whether or not you think you'll find someone else, etc., etc.
I also think it probably takes longer than a year and a half to get over a divorce. Maybe the average includes some couples that were married and divorced very quickly and didn't need much time to get over it.
Wow,that is just too weird! 10 months is exactly how long I was with my first love and like you it took me years to get over it. Breakups are tough,but in the end you realize there is someone better out there for you. So all you folks suffering right now,HANG IN THERE! :)
