The fairy-tale romance of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson is over before it had a chance to produce a master race of sparkly, dead-eyed Chuck Taylor–wearing babies, OK! is reporting. It seems now that filming on Eclipse has ended, Rob and Kristen are going their separate ways, and Wobby-Wob is left broken-hearted.

Rob made only a brief appearance at the wrap party for the film, which Kristen skipped altogether, and sources tell the fanciful magazine that he's totally jealous of her scenes with hulked-out Taylor Lautner. "She couldn't stop noticing his bod," the source, reporting directly from 1986, said. "His hot bod."

Other sources say that Robert was discussing marriage, so Kristen put the brakes on the relationship, which, you know, makes sense, since she's 19 and he's 23 and Twihards would probably suicide bomb their wedding reception. "Robert was talking marriage but she told him they needed a break," another source said. So she's off to Los Angeles, and he can't follow, because he's afraid of not just sunlight, garlic, and Keanu Reeves, but also earthquakes. We would totally think that sounds like one of those "he's just not that into you" excuses, except that Rob has always been the one pining over Kristen, not the other way around. How To Make Long-Distance Love Work

Like most KStew-RPattz news, we know intellectually that this is complete hooey. And yet, we are delighted by the further delusions of the staff over at OK! If Rob and Kristen were indeed canoodling for the past three months on the 34th floor of the Sheraton Wall Centre in Vancouver, then their breakup—and just last month they were talking marriage! Poor Rob's mom!—will certainly make the promotional activities for New Moon, which drops Nov. 20, incredibly awkward. We weren't sure anything could be more awkward than Kristen's visit to Letterman's show last year, but this could top it. Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats for Act 4.

Via OK! Photo courtesy of Bauer-Griffin.