6 Ways To Be Extra-Supportive

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support love
When your partner needs your help, here's what you should do.

One of the best things about being married is that you have someone to lean on when the going gets tough. But even in new relationships, knowing that someone cares about you is helpful when you're having a hard time. When your partner is stressed, consider proactively offering support, instead of waiting for him to come to you. Here are six situations when your partner needs a little extra loving. 101 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Right Now

When they have an important day at work. Even if he doesn't look like he's stressed, his big day at work is certainly on his mind. Want to be helpful? Don't ask "Are you ready?"—the only good answer is "yes," and if he says that, there's nothing to talk about. If he says "no," it'll just make him feel bad. Instead ask, "How are you feeling about [the meeting/presentation/asking for a raise?]." That opens the door for a discussion, and this is where you can offer support. Tell him you believe in him, tell her you're proud of her, remind him of past accomplishments. 7 Phrases Men Love To Hear

Another way to help is offering to practice whatever it is they have to say. You play the boss/client/whoever, and let him say what he has prepared. Don't critique unless he asks for your feedback. Even if you're trying to be helpful, it can come across as criticism.

When they had a bad day. Her boss yelled at her, he had a fender-bender or she spilled coffee on her favorite white shirt. If your partner is in a bad mood, even for what seems like a silly reason, she needs your support. It can be as easy as opening your arms for a hug, rubbing his shoulders or bringing him a glass of wine. Ask if he wants to talk about it—some people will, others won't. Either is OK. Eventually his mood will pass. And remember, his frustration isn't aimed at you, so don't take his negativity personally.

When they have a big decision to make. Offer to talk about the pros and cons of each choice. Give your opinion if it's something that affects you directly, but don't expect him to take your advice—or be too disappointed if he doesn't. If you don't know much about the various options don't try to weigh in. Talking about it will help, but hearing someone's uneducated opinion won't. The Pros And Cons of Marrying Young

When they have a family problem. You don't choose your family, as the old saying goes, and you can't ignore a family-related issue. Even if you don't like or know the relative in question, ask her if there's anything you can do to help. Chances are there isn't, but it will help her to know that she has your support. Just squeezing her hand as she stands by a dying relative's bedside or listening to her complain about an annoying sibling will be enough. How To Help A Partner Grieve

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