5 Reasons A Man Is Bad In Bed

By

Bad Sex
Because it's not us... it's you.

We're not going to lie. Women are a fickle sort. When it comes to sex, some women like this, some women like that, and some women don't know what the hell they want. One thing we are sure of, though, is if you're bad in bed—at least, in our opinion. Maybe it's us. Maybe it's you. But if the sparks aren't flying when we're banging uglies, it could be because we think you don't have what it takes in the bedroom. What's up with that? The Frisky: 7 Sexual Partners That Don't (Have To) Count

You're A Two-Pump Chump. Newsflash: If the sex is over less than 10 minutes before it started, with some exceptions, we barely had a chance to get into it before you were done with it. Look, we understand having a penis isn't easy. They sure look complicated to us. (God knows we don't understand them.) But make sure that when you get down, you reset your clock to operate in sync with ours. Women are notoriously slower to get into it, so take your time. Then, when our girls ask how it was, we won't roll our eyes and proclaim you a T.P.C. The Frisky: What To Do When He Can't Get It Up

 

You Think This Is A Porn Movie. We don't expect you to "make love" to us every single time, but, for chrissake, you're not Dirk Diggler, and we're not Amber Waves. If you're spending more time looking at our crotches and boobs than our faces, if you're trying out a series of death-defying sex moves that include the Pile Driver, if you're saying a bunch of ridiculous stuff like, "Give it to me, baby, one more time," we're probably wondering how we got on the wrong train that took us straight to Porn Valley. We're not porn stars, honey. We're sexy ladies. The Frisky: 4 Sex Acts Guys Think They'd Enjoy (But Won't)

There's Something ... Off. It could be anything. You smell funny. You grunt like a pig. You're a toe-sucker. Women are creatures of habit and hygiene, and if there's something off, weird, or rank about you, we are turned off. The funny thing about women is that we won't necessarily tell you what's wrong. We're cagey like that. But if we stop talking, start staring at the ceiling, and you spot us checking the clock, in all likelihood there's something about you that we find funky. Ask us. We might tell you. Or, well, maybe you're better off not knowing. The Frisky: MERRIme, A Web Comedy About Online Dating

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