5 Reasons A Man Is Bad In Bed
Because it's not us... it's you.
We're not going to lie. Women are a fickle sort. When it comes to sex, some women like this, some women like that, and some women don't know what the hell they want. One thing we are sure of, though, is if you're bad in bed—at least, in our opinion. Maybe it's us. Maybe it's you. But if the sparks aren't flying when we're banging uglies, it could be because we think you don't have what it takes in the bedroom. What's up with that? The Frisky: 7 Sexual Partners That Don't (Have To) Count
You're A Two-Pump Chump. Newsflash: If the sex is over less than 10 minutes before it started, with some exceptions, we barely had a chance to get into it before you were done with it. Look, we understand having a penis isn't easy. They sure look complicated to us. (God knows we don't understand them.) But make sure that when you get down, you reset your clock to operate in sync with ours. Women are notoriously slower to get into it, so take your time. Then, when our girls ask how it was, we won't roll our eyes and proclaim you a T.P.C. The Frisky: What To Do When He Can't Get It Up
You Think This Is A Porn Movie. We don't expect you to "make love" to us every single time, but, for chrissake, you're not Dirk Diggler, and we're not Amber Waves. If you're spending more time looking at our crotches and boobs than our faces, if you're trying out a series of death-defying sex moves that include the Pile Driver, if you're saying a bunch of ridiculous stuff like, "Give it to me, baby, one more time," we're probably wondering how we got on the wrong train that took us straight to Porn Valley. We're not porn stars, honey. We're sexy ladies. The Frisky: 4 Sex Acts Guys Think They'd Enjoy (But Won't)
There's Something ... Off. It could be anything. You smell funny. You grunt like a pig. You're a toe-sucker. Women are creatures of habit and hygiene, and if there's something off, weird, or rank about you, we are turned off. The funny thing about women is that we won't necessarily tell you what's wrong. We're cagey like that. But if we stop talking, start staring at the ceiling, and you spot us checking the clock, in all likelihood there's something about you that we find funky. Ask us. We might tell you. Or, well, maybe you're better off not knowing. The Frisky: MERRIme, A Web Comedy About Online Dating
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Discussion
This article is soooooooooooooo true! In this day and age of free internet porn, more and more men are thinking THEY are porn stars from watching too much internet porn. Worse yet, they think the men in the videos are REALLY getting their women off??? Wake up men, dont take sex tips from a porn movie!!
Most of this can work both ways (except #1). For the sake of argument, let's flip the script.
Women:
1) Some of you just lay there. Some women act like they don't know what to do. Express yourself! If you have a wild side, this would be a great time to show it!
2) You think this is a porn movie. Most of us aren't tryin' to go all night long. That stuff is for porn and love songs. Yeah, we want to get off, but we want you to have yours, too. Just keep it real, OK? We should both be sweaty and sleepy!
3) There's something funny. Did you BATHE down there? How about trimming the bush down some? We shouldn't need a weed wacker to find the spot, you know what I'm saying? And, PLEASE, shave the armpit hair! It's cool for us, not for you. That's just the way it is.
4) You're just not that good. Look, everyone can't lick the lollipop, OK? If you're not good at oral sex, just leave it alone. Nothing worse than someone using teeth to try to drain it dry. And you can't suck on testes like gumballs! Those things are sensitive! Oh, and when we move, you should be moving, too. This is supposed to be intimate. We shouldn't be drilling for oil, and you're just laying there like the flatlands!
5) We are SO over you! You can spread your legs, drop your panties...do whatever makes you think you have that chance. If we do decide to lay some pipe (that's what we look at it when it's a done deal between us), then don't be mad if we get up, wash up, get dressed and leave. Don't feel bad, though. Some of us may leave a couple of dollars on the dresser before we go.
You forgot the biggest key to giving woman pleasure, most men don't realize.
Having her relaxed enough to clear all the static from the problems generated by every day life.
Free her mind and slow down and you'll be astonished by her response.
