5 Ways To Stop Being A Needy Girlfriend
Feeling clingy? We're here to help.
Askmen.com published a story this week about how to transform your needy, clingy girlfriend back into the cool chick she seemingly was when you first met her. Now, before you get all offended, let us tell you two things: 1) the author was a woman (by the name of Sharalyn Hartwell) and 2) we actually agree with her.
Hartwell's argument: That a woman becomes needy only when a man stops making her feel secure in the relationship, and that there are five very simple things a man can do to bring his girlfriend's sense of security back. Among them:
1. Do what you say you will do. Call when you say you'll call, make her believe you're a loyal boyfriend with a sense of follow-through.
2. Randomly clue her in. Share what you're thinking when she's not probing you for information, tell her about your thoughts and dreams, make her believe she's worthy of your secret thoughts. Which Love Language Do You Speak?
3. Not out of sight, out of mind. Give her a call or drop her a text when you're out with your friends to let her know that she's on your mind even when you're apart.
4. Maintain contact when out together. Catch her eye from across the room you're out together at a party, let her know that you know you have the best date in the room.
5. Prove you're observant. Let her know that you notice her appearance, give her suprise compliments, make it clear you appreciate her. Inner Beauty: What Men Don't Tell You
We like what Hartwell is saying to all the men out there who date clingy women. We think that the needy, clingy women of the world could use some tips of their own, however (after all, the best transformation techniques are those we can oversee ourselves, right?).
1. Have your own life. Remember what you were like when you and your boyfriend first met? You had friends, hobbies, and lots of things that were not centered around him. Make sure you're still keeping up with those things. Doing so will make you happier, more interesting to him, and less likely to fixate entirely on your relationship. In Love? Don't Forget Your Friends
2. Schedule things out. Having a weekly date night, a monthly day trip, or regular evening text session on both your schedules can give you the sense that things are less amorphous and provide both of you with something to look forward to. Secrets to a Happy Marriage
Discussion
My now EX boyfriend of 4 years put me through such a confusing VERY emotional roller coaster... I almost had a breakdown. I just can't believe I let someone do that to me. I can relate to all your stories and had the exact same experience that you're all talking about. I felt like I was under his spell and knowing that our relationship was not healthy for me I still kept "hoping" that one day he would be really "in to me". Every time I pulled away and broke up with him he was right there and didn't want to let me go. The truth is that he didn't want me but didn't want anyone else to have me either. He just wanted his cake and eat it too.... go out with his friends and dance with other women when he knew I loved to dance and leave me alone at home...(we didn't live together...EVER!), ...wanted some of his weekends alone when we didn't even live together. And all that time I just felt like he was waiting for something better to come along which after talking to one of his good friends.... I found out that was exactly what it was. Ladies, it IS what it IS.... If he's not showing you or giving you what you want and he's not calling or showing you the attention that you want and acts like he doesn't want you around at times..... GET OUT!!! If I can do it I know anyone can..... I had the support from my friends and family and they all knew as well and kept telling me through the whole relationship but I wouldn't listen because I wanted to be with him. I realized how stupid I was at the time and now I realize how much HAPPIER I am...... Sooo.... Here's my advise..... If he's not everything you need or want and your not getting the attention that you deserve... LEAVE!! Bottom line..... focus on yourself and what you need to accomplish to make yourself happier. DON'T ANSWER THAT PHONE, TEXT, EMAIL ETC.... It's not gonna change. I can't tell you how many times I've seen my ex be very sweet to me to get me back and then BOOM! He was back to being a jerk! He cried (and I mean real tears too), begged and did what ever to get me back but then after he got me back to being "so into him" he was back to being his real self.... He's had 2 marriages before me..... and I think I know why his first wife drank all the time and his second one had to have a buzz everyday. The man is just too selfish to want to treat anyone GOOD but himself! No we never got married ... not even engaged. He's very selfish in a lot of ways and will never be able to keep a woman. So, ladies, find an UNSELFISH man, one that thinks of your needs as well and you will be much happier!!! So Step 1.... Tell him it's over. Step 2.... BE STRONG!! Step 3. Focus on yourself... your body... your job.... your friends... your family. Step 4 Keep smiling. Step 5 Remember that somebody still loves you very much... His name is Jesus. And above all.... more than anything... focus on HIM!!! P.S. I've started meeting men on dating sites that ARE looking for a relationship and marriage and I can tell you that it's 100 times better than meeting the ones in bars. I've tried that for about 20 years and NEVER found anything worth keeping. One thing I do need to say, DO NOT focus so much on the one your dating..... focus on YOUR life, what YOU want, and whether or not YOU like him, NOT worry if he likes YOU.... cause if you're doing just the unhealthy opposite chances are it's just and ego thing (like someone suggested to me and I realized that they were right) and you're just trying to when him over when it probably just isn't meant to be. There is someone out there for you that WILL be everything you want so stop wasting your time ladies. Life is waay to short to waste it on worrying, being confused, staying upset, being miserable, having to play detective, or whatever else crazy things you do that he makes you do just because he's not the one for you.... It's an ego thing... let it go. You'll WIN!!
I like this article.
This is what I kept telling my boyfriend (not sure if we're broken up or on a break) that it's the little things that matter. If I was out with friends, I'd send him a text saying that I wish he was here. He'd do the same, sometimes, but not as much as I would have liked. And then the fact that he's not a planner. Is it that hard to make concrete plans with your girlfriend? It at least would make feel like you wanted to be with me, but that was how he was. I could go on and on... this is a good article.
this is just like mine.. he says he will do this and do that but nothing has changed and he forgets me as his girlfriend when hes busy with his friends. i really felt that i need his attention and assurance that were good..somehow i feel like its fading day by day..
This is exactly like my relationship with my on again off again boyfriend of over a year. Im getting clingy an he an i both see it. But he doesnt do some of the things on here at all. Its like im not even his girlfriend have the time when he goes out with his friends. I need serious help in what i should do.
