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6 Things Men Should Know About Women

Esquire compiles 75 tips for men from famous women.

For as much as we agonize over men—purchase self-help books, enlist our girlfriends as support systems during endless mimosa brunches—it was refreshing to click through Esquire's 75 Things You Don't Know About Women. Women Are Confusing Flirts

It's actually sort of cute to picture the scruffier sex, wide-eyed, analyzing the inner workings of the female mind. Or glancing at the words and focusing on the pictures. Hey, they tried.

We can't imagine men pour over this kind of stuff like we do, but when you have Sarah Silverman explaining the why girls go to the bathroom in groups (to do coke), Wanda Sykes revealing the way to a woman's heart (her clit), and Emily Deschanel giving men a run down on words we hate (panties, titty and moist), it seems a bit more believable.

Here's a round-up of some of our favorites:

"We can tell how good you'll be in bed by how good you are on the dance floor. This isn't an invitation to grind your boners into our asses—we're looking more for rhythm, ingenuity, and joie de vivre." -- Leslie Mann I Mortified Myself In Public For My Wife (a.k.a. Taking Dance Lessons With My Wife)

"Call us back right away. That 'three day' crap does not apply. We're getting older and we don't have time to screw around. Wait too long and we'll lose interest. Trust me on this one." -- Christina Applegate Demystify dating. Click here to decode your date.

"Even when we're blindfolded, even when you're wearing sunglasses, even in the pitch black of night, we can always tell if you just ogled another woman." -- Maria Bartiromo To Ogle or Not To Ogle

"We're afraid of commitment, too. You may think we spend our time scheming ways to trap you into marriage, but many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we're not in any rush to quit lusting after young Calvin Klein models." -- Maria Bello Maria Bello Tells YourTango About Her Anti-Marriage Vows

"Eye contact should last exactly 0.28 seconds. The quickest glance is the most effective. Treat us like the sun during a solar eclipse." -- Saira Mohan

50% Can RelateCan you relate?

Discussion

southernwriter57 Single I AIM TO PLEASE
Can Relate - Posted 1 week ago

Well I don't want to be with a girl who does notl like the term panties. Panties is the title to women's underwear in all of the catalog. It si a perfectly good and sexy word. If a woman talks about her underwear instead of panties, I am out of there. Katie Couric demonstrating her absolutely tone deaf ear told the journalist interviewiing her for an article in one of the men's magazines that she thinks the word panties is dumb.

Any woman who would say that is telegraphing that she will most definitely be lousy in the sack and will be withholdihng of sex routinely. If the woman is not willing to wear the panties that I like is history. For most men, panties are one of our favorite fetishes. White cotton panties only belong on little girls and old grandmas. White nylon panties are BORING. Show some lace and some color please.

Women here is a tip, if you want the guy to open doors for you, wear a skirt and givfe him a nice peek when he opens your car door. It is the best way to inspire him to romance and to be gallant.

Score: 0

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Lyz Married Community Manager
Posted 6 days ago

ha! great tip.

Score: 0
relationshipexpert Single I Love You
Can Relate - Posted 3 weeks ago

It's also highly important in a relation that jealousy be set aside, especially as far as males are concerned. Women have been scientifically proven to be less likely to cheat after meeting a good-looking, single guy, than before meeting him. Counter-intuitively, it seems that such encounters actually increase females' desire to make the relationship work. On the other hand, the same studies have shown that men who meet a good-looking single girl are 12 percent less likely to forgive the mistakes of their current partner, which is really not fair.

Score: 0
Cazanova Single
Posted January 1, 2010

Women - what they say does not equal what they do

What women do depends on how you make them feel. If you make them feel, fun, lighthearted, and excited, they will be attracted to you...Women predominantly decide by what they feel ie how a man's behavior makes her feel.

Men predominantly decide by what the SEE. ie Bedonkadonk, face etc.

Rule #1 dont rely on what women tell you they want because they usually dont understand what makes them feel desire and wild passion. Hwta makes them feel excited by a man or what makes them feel only friendship.

Rule #2: Your income and looks will only get you so far; women dont lay down with you just based on that and if they do they are playing you or are just interested in you playing the provider role. I've known many young doctors who do not do well with women, at least not the type of woman tey really want.

Rule # 3: Its not a "game" - its an interaction, view it from the perspective of you want to feel good as a man and she wants to fell good as a woman. If you view it as a "game" you will get fristrated, dissapointed, and dissillusioned.

Score: 0
texasfilly Complicated
Posted December 10, 2009

I agree there are alot of games out there. Todays women totally confuse me. It seems as if the roles have been reversed. I never wanted to be single again in this day and time. Women scare me. I'm not sure I understand this cougar thing either. They may be fun for a boy toy, but serioiusly, there is to big of a gap. All I can say is be true to yourself and keep your self respect and morals. There are still a few good ladies left as there are men. You just have to know what you want and what your willing to settle for.

Score: 0
hood64 Taken
Can Relate - Posted December 6, 2009

The number 1 thing that both partners must know about the other is the reason for attaction and the background both present and past of the other. The more known in these two areas, raises the chance of a relationship that will be enjoyed in the way expected. Then it is just a matter of being truthful to eachother to make it last for the intended time.
Reality is that most, if not all guys are in for the sex until the pickings become slim or they want someone they can depend on, long term. This is never the best looking woman they have met unless they are totally stupid.
All women will go for the "power" figure which relates to many guises, but bottom line is, the guy that stands out in the crowd whether in looks, wealth or popularity. They all believe that they will find Mr. perfect and will change him into they're life long perfect partner. Wake up. Any man with options, will utilize them to the limit. The women that hook up with these "Power" figures always know, if truthful to themselves, that every man will exhaust his options before settling down, but she will accept it in the name of security. When a woman settles for the average but caring and supporting man, it is for security and only security either due to past abuse or the fear that her options are running out.
The worst case senario is the good looking woman and the good looking guy. This is a never win situation these days. Good looking guys will always prey on the naive women, while good looking women will always be in search of the good looking, sensitive, caring, funny and loyal guy with money and brains which only exists in the wildest fairy tales. All the writing in the world about what a woman wants is usless when a man knows exactly what he wants and doesn't care how he gets it. Women writing about it only gives more ammunition for the guy to use to achieve his objective. Sorry Ladies.
Someday I will write on the inner workings of a Man. That will give relationships a lot better chance of suceeding than the inner workings of a woman. Women may think they can manipulate men easily, but they don't know that in the end, most guys don't get to power positions without having something; and women show daily that they are suckers for the power guys EVERYTIME. Guys are NOT always suckers for the power girls.
It is so funny to watch these shows about women thinking they are controlling sexuality these days. Cougars claiming their ground proudly out there. Hello ladies. You are all, any man's dream come true and the more of you out there the better. Men are loving the fact that they can have you suck them and f*%k them with No commitment or responsibility. They get to abuse you to their wildest fantasy and say thanks and good-bye. Be sure he'll inform all his freinds about you and hopefully you'll get to a point where they can degrade you to the ultimate where you'll have no choice but to do the less attractive guys so they can get some too. Reality is: Any woman who spreads her legs, will form a train anytime, anywhere. The real joke is on you. The only ones hurt are the younger women who now have to perform in the washrooms and parking lots to compete with the cougar who has free food and accomodation for the night.
Bottom line is that everyone wants and needs love and a person they can share their life trials and tribulations with. You have to start by finding out if the one that you are with is at the same stage of life that you are in and why are they picking you. Good luck to all.

Score: 0
Sean Married
Posted December 1, 2009

Very nice. Maybe we should go over the whole toilet seat thing again while we're at it. Already had a mother, she's dead, and I haven't gone out looking for a replacement. You know, I would really just love to sit around and listen to women complain about me, and what I won't do, don't do, can't do, forgot to do, or shouldn't do, but then there's this life thing, and before you know it, it's gone. If someone is drawn to you, and you to them, then bingo, it works. If it is not meant to be, nothing, but nothing in this world can make it so. All the mistakes, mishaps, and problems really don't mean anything, when you get down to it, and all that does matter is that you are happy together, really truly happy. Things will happen. Get over it. You will be here approx. 72 springs, summers, falls and winters, if you are lucky.Most people on this planet die of hunger, disease, or their govts. hunting them down for sport. In this country we die from being too fat, carelessness, and stupidity. Didn't call the next day? He's not interested. Not really. Looks at other attractive women when you're with him? How in hell did you think he noticed you? Women sometimes are damaged, but a lot of it is self-inflicted.

Score: 0
lady love Married
Can't Relate - Posted November 28, 2009

I think that comment was e very good portrayal of whats wrong with our men today. Women are not your "bitches" and we are not all neurotic idiots. I think any woman in a relationship with a man that has that attitude would end up neurotic and would start to mirror all those degrading things he used to describe womens personalities just because its what shes told. Advice...treat your women how you want them to feel around you!!

Score: 0
Qverb Taken Rugburns, sarcasm, giggling, beautiful
Posted November 29, 2009

Lady Love, be careful with your reproach, or else you'll be guilty of the same thing that Jant Jackson is...of being narrow-minded and sexist, and I can see that you aren't.

Jant is just a very real example of how wrong some men can be, and you know there are women out there who are examples of just how wrong some women can be.

Your last bit of advice is sound though, and BeatlesFan puts out some really valid points. The bottom line is still the same. A healthy relationship is built upon solid communication, mutual respect, compromise, and understanding. In that way everyone gets most of what they want.

Score: 0
Jant Jackson manhood101.com
Posted November 22, 2009

men need to learn that women are selfish bitches and need a man's guidance otherwise they end up sounding like complete neurotic idiots as this article perfectly illustrates. be sure to check out this book on how to keep your bitches in check: http://www.scribd.com/doc/21733512/Principles-101

Score: -2
Can't Relate - Posted November 19, 2009

The main problem with the article -- in terms of its utility -- is that it essentially preaches that it's all about accommodating all the neurotic ticks a woman has in order to get what you want from her. It's about the slave manipulating the master -- as if men have to become Southern Belles in order to crack the combination of a woman's psyche.

This makes for great jokes -- and the all the wit makes the article worth reading. BUT, this crap about pandering to women in various ways places the man in the position of essentially begging for his supper. Here's the deal: drop the childish strategizing and just find someone of the opposite sex that understands how a man thinks and can tell what the context of someone's behavior is from what they understand about the opposite sex.

If I have to be some woman's prisoner and only glance a glint when we all know that we all notice each other on the street, then forget it. There's ways of not being rude about behavior that can trigger a woman's trademark jealousy or insecurity, but a mature, intelligent woman knows the difference between what is deemed eye candy versus what represents a legitimate threat to a relationship or a genuine lack of respect for the other person. But to make a person pretend they don't notice what they notice is just plain stupid. That's just playing GAMES, and only an idiot does that (but most people are idiots). Women can use some enlightening too.

In other words, if you're an adult you should know the difference between the big stuff and the small stuff and know what to sweat and what not to. Understanding this will make or break any relationship. As for me, I just don't have the patience for stupid people. We're so over-connected and over-informed these days, that life itself has become an ongoing cliche. So if after all the saturation of info we receive from articles, movies, talk shows, etc. about the "real" nature of the opposite sex, we still have to have retarded "rules" of conduct -- if only because people are so dumb they can't tell what behaviors are typical for a person's gender (and hence, irreconcilable) versus those that are actually destructive or wrong -- then there's nothing you can do to make things work. You can't make a person have good judgment or be accurately discriminating -- either you understand the human condition or you don't.

Dopey articles like this only demonstrate that there's a lot of stupid people out there who just don't have the social skills or intelligence to simply be thoughtful and considerate of someone based on what you've managed to learn about their unchangeable nature -- the nature you'll be confronted by on a daily basis if you couple with that individual. The best way to prevent an argument is by finding someone who thinks the same way you do. Be a good enough judge to tell if someone is on the same page as you in those matters that matter, that you know will effect the stability and happiness of your relationships with anyone. Communication, honesty and compatibility are key.

Instead of having to figure all sorts different ways to kiss a woman's ass, as this article ultimately demonstrates, just find yourself a woman whose ass you don't have to kiss. Find someone who understands you and don't try to force a relationship with someone who doesn't "get" you, that's all. There's worse things than being alone -- so be appropriately selective and most of your problems will never happen in the first place. And the same goes for women: my position isn't for or against women, it's simply about common sense, which is equally appropriate for both sides.

And yes, both sexes are different, but in the end, success will come not from having the best manipulation skills, but from having the best observational skills -- just care enough about what you're doing to ask the right questions so you know you've located a kindred spirit. We all know how the sexes are different, so give that crap a rest. Just get attached to those who are different in ways that work compatibly to you, and you won't need to read stupid self-help articles in the first place.

Score: 1
Immortalz3000 In a committed relationship
Posted December 6, 2009

I concur.

Score: 0
joceeco Complicated My girl is whack!
Posted November 22, 2009

Beatles fan that was the best response to this article and the best advice I have ever gotten about finding the right female women. You need an office with a long leather couch, because dudes need to hear more from you!

Score: 0
lynnH Taken Love Without Making Apologies!
Posted November 15, 2009

I can relate to his wanting to disagree with the article, but when you use stereotypes as smoke screens, it distracts from the augument. It's my opinion that dating a young black male does not make a woman any less professional. I am also of the opinion that being a young black male does not make one a stud.

I did agree with the respondent that celebrities should stop being used as a gauge to what women in general want or need. They can't even manage their own relationships!

Score: 1
sidney Equality Sharing Respect Enlightment
Can't Relate, But Hear Ya - Posted November 13, 2009

I am surprised that only celebrities were quoted! Is that a woman thing too?

When articles are written on the web, there is no one to challenge the writer. before being published. No facts are checked or verified!

It is a shame that the listening, patience and action are required but woman themselves won't provide the same! I found myself recently singled after 25 years and find that everything in the dating game is based on myths and selfishness. Women feel empowered and it is not about equality anymore, it is about power!

So why is the dancing more important than listening, caring, respect, patience and empathy?
So why is the young 20 something men are being desired by a 50 something women ok, but a man in the reverse position is a sleaze ball?

It is all about the ability to control sex and when an enlightened man refuses to play the game, he is an ass! I have watched hundreds if not thousands of scenes unfold while researching for my book. Seemingly professional woman will turn down an ideal match to be with a young black male then consistently claim all men are evil when the young stud dumps her after a night of using her.

Come on ladies, if you want respect, patience, listening, caring, empathy, you have to be willing to share and give yourself without all the games! Stop expecting men to be little toys and the new generation is about equality, so stop using the same gig. Celebrities have nothing to offer but entertainment!

Dancing has nothing to do with life! It just shows some one with good moves on the floor NOT in bed! Don't disrespect men and perhaps you will get respect and learn to respect yourselves

Score: -1
Lyz Married Community Manager
Posted November 16, 2009

Actually, you can fact-check this. Go to the link at the beginning of the article:
http://www.esquire.com/women/10-things-you-dont-know-about-women/relatio...

All the quotes are taken from the Esquire article. That was made evident at the beginning of the article.

Score: 0
Qverb Taken Rugburns, sarcasm, giggling, beautiful
Posted September 10, 2009

Guys, do yourselves a favor...

If you have a girl then ask her to make her list of things you should know...

If you don't have a girl then take a look through the esquire list and notice that your biggest task is understanding the woman you're with, what her needs and wants are, and how you can fulfill that list while having your own needs and wants met. It takes listening, understanding, patience, and action.

Score: 2
Jant Jackson manhood101.com
Posted November 29, 2009

why would any man need to have a girl make a list when girls are not smart enough to know what they want. That's called relationship suicide. A man should know what he wants and then tell the girl to get with the program or hit the curb. Too many women end up being selfish bitches and don't know how to please a man. Men need to know how to stop bitch behavior: http://www.scribd.com/doc/21733512/Principles-101

Score: -1
Qverb Taken Rugburns, sarcasm, giggling, beautiful
Posted November 29, 2009

Tell us, Jant, how long do your relationships last? When was the last time you actually had a mutually fulfilling, long term relationship?

Or did they all end quickly because she got tired of you expecting her to give you constant praise for how selfish a lover you are?

You remind me of my younger brother, constantly blaming women for the pain in his life when he can't see how his own actions created, and controlled, the situation.

Guess its easier to be a boy and point the finger at women for their short-comings (at least for the ones that you keep chasing) than it is to actually be a man and look to yourself to see what is wrong with you.

Spend some time doing that and maybe you'll actually stop chasing all of these damaged women that keep you thinking that all women are messed up.

Score: 0

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