The Trouble With Dating As A Bisexual Woman

dating bisexual woman

Struggling to get beyond the lesbian stigma against bisexuals.

One of the first times I went on a date with a girl, she asked me, "Are you bi or gay?"

"Well, I'm still figuring that out," I told her.

Her response was: "I knew you were too good to be true." I then fell all over myself in an effort to explain to her that, although I was unsure about how to define my sexuality, I was definitely into girls, more so than I'm into guys. I am not and have never been bi-curious, bi for attention or bi only when men are around. Since then, I've figured out that I'm solely into girls. So I guess I wasn't too good to be true, huh?

But, alas, in parts of the gay community, being bi or being a lesbian who has hooked up with guys in the past is like having horns or an incurable disease. The Frisky: Dating A Bi-Guy

This isn't the case for all girls I have dated, but some lesbians don't want to date anyone who has been near a penis. Ever. Girls who have always been gay and nothing else carry it like a badge of honor. And, frankly, I'm jealous of them. I wish it was that easy for me to figure it out. But it wasn't.

I blame the bi-hatred on the rise of girls I will call "Facebook Lesbians." These are chicks you see on social networking sites and in clubs and bars getting touchy-feely with their platonic girlfriends to get attention from men. (Hello, boob circle photos.) They make being bisexual unacceptable in the eyes of some and are the reason even I can't say the word without putting air quotes around it. And, although for most of these girls it stops with a kiss or an innocent boob-grab, some of them actually identify themselves as bisexual, thus mucking things up for the whole gay community. I have numerous female friends who think they swing both ways simply because the idea of kissing another girl doesn't totally repulse them. But would they have a relationship with another woman? No. So are they bi? I don't think so. The Frisky: Is The Male Lesbian Fantasy Messing With Women's Sexuality?

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