At what point should a married couple call it quits? Abuse? Cheating? Lack of sex?
My neighbor and I were talking about our perplexing positions in life. We are both in the same boat, contemplating divorce for a couple of years now with young children involved. She revealed to me that her husband had been physically abusive to her a few times throughout the marriage and that he continues to verbally assault her in front of her kids on an almost daily basis. Read: Are Apologies Enough After Domestic Abuse?
When I told her that I think my husband may be either cheating on me or planning on cheating on me, she said, "Oh, that's where I draw the line. If he cheats on me, I'm out of here."
This got me thinking about the different thresholds we all have as women. Before I was married I always assumed that my threshold would be "If I'm unhappy in my marriage, I'm out of here." After we were married and we had kids my threshold evolved into something like, "If he ever lays a hand on me in violence, or becomes verbally abusive, or cheats on me, then I'm out of here." Read: Can Cheating Ever Be Justified?
I would assume that most women in my position have similar thresholds, but talking to my neighbor (who has been married longer than I have), apparently it's completely possible to have the threshold pushed further to, "If he cheats on me I'm out of here, but everything else is just annoying."
Why do we allow the threshold to change?
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Written by Megan Thomas for First Wives World.
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