Blow jobs are overrated. There. I said it. I know men who would fight a grizzly bear with a spork for a little mouth love. I also know women who guard their oral sexing technique the way a pharmaceutical company protects its most precious patents. But I'm just not a dude who loves blow jobs. I'm an active guy, when it comes to being intimate with a woman, and laying back and letting her go down on me has always felt passive to me. Disconnected. As if I could lean back and read The Economist or slurp a bowl of soup while being, uhhh, serviced. The Frisky: What's Your Most Embarassing Sex Moment?
It feels good, sure. But not that good. I can't get off if she's all the way down there. I need her eyes, her mouth, her words, to really achieve anything that can reasonably be defined as sexual satisfaction. For the record, feeling sexually "satisfied" is very underrated. That deeply comforting post-coital buzz that can only come when one's appetite is blissfully sated.
Am I the only dude who feels this way? I mean, I think I am. There are plenty of women who dislike men going down on them, which is something I enjoy doing. That might be hypocritical, but it just is. I don't really have a sweet tooth, but I enjoy making a mean chocolate pecan pie. There are other things I'd rather do with a lover than getting a "knobber." The Frisky: 10 Things Women Don’t Understand About Men
I know what you're thinking. That this is some clever, douche-tastic ploy to get a blow job. Women are aloof and bashful when it comes to their sexual egos, unlike men. Yes, it's an example of the unfairness of gender politics. Women are embarrassed by their desires; men flaunt them. But women have huge egos when it comes to pleasing their men. I floated my thoughts for this column past a female friend of mine, that I thought blow jobs were overrated, and her half-joking instinctual response was, "Well, I'll show you."