6 Important Benefits Of Forgiving
Forgetting isn't enough, for you or for him. Why it's important to forgive.
More often than not clients wanting to improve their relationship skills at some point had to realize the importance of personal and interpersonal forgiveness to their well-being and overall happiness. The truth is that all of us have transgressed or acted in a way that brought about a negative impact on our self or someone else. So from this perspective, none of us is without the need for forgiveness, and each of us will encounter the opportunity to grant forgiveness. With that in mind, here are some important benefits associated with practicing forgiveness.
1. Good physical health. If you aren't aware, there are numerous studies on the positive impact forgiveness has on your physical health. Some of these include lower blood pressure, a healthy heart rate, and a stronger immune system. Marriage Woes: As Harmful As They Are Hurtful
2. Avoid negative, nonproductive thought cycle. Unforgiveness often triggers a ruthless cycle of negative thoughts and anger. Forgiveness keeps your ability to experience other emotions commonly associated with being offended and hurt unblocked.
3. Great energy and awareness. It takes a lot of energy away from you to hold a grudge, and having to be vigilant of someone else’s behavior diminishes your ability to be alert and aware.
4. Protect your freedom and ability to trust. Unforgiveness makes you the victim and keeps you a victim of a wrong. Forgiving keeps you free and able to trust. This is essential for relating well. See number five below. Are Apologies Enough After Domestic Abuse?
5. Avoid excess baggage in your relationships. If you’ve ever dated someone with unresolved issues from a previous relationship you know the problems encountered in trying to build a relationship with people like this. It’s tough! Relating well means taking care of issues as they arise. Unforgiveness prevents you from accomplishing this important work.
Discussion
Its just as Lyz says, but I personally really like the points that were made in number 5 about how understanding where your partner's issues stem from can help you be more forgiving and more patient when those issues rear their ugly head. Its about not internalizing your partner's problem since you know it really isn't about you (and you should be sure of that before you start talking with your partner about it) but about what has been done to them.
Example: Those of us that have platonic friendships with exes. We know that we aren't doing anything wrong when we meet up with them for a rare lunch get together or chat with them every now and then on the phone. They are just a friend now. We might be with someone who doesn't understand that because their past is riddled with partners who cheated on them with their exes, so we catch the brunt of that mistrust and anger.
Understanding that your partner has been cheated on before in this way helps you to understand that you don't need to get defensive or upset because it isn't really about you. You've done nothing wrong. From there, with more of a calm composure and a clearer head, you can work with your partner towards a resolution that is a benefit to both of you.
it's important to know that forgiveness does not mean forgetting, taking him/her back, not being upset or angry (you need to process), or being best friends with this person again. Forgivness is good, but if you've been really hurt it should come with boundaries.
