Dating A Golddigger

By Recessionwire posted Jul 25th 2009 3:00PM

How one woman ended up paying for everything when dating during the recession.

"Let's stop and get bagels," he said.

I ordered a sesame bagel toasted with cream cheese; he ordered a plain bagel, plain cream cheese. The total was $6. I paid.

He hadn't even made a move for his wallet. And it wasn't the first time.

Six months ago, I was laid off from a job I loved and a salary I really loved. I left with a nice little pile of severance and had accumulated a substantial 401K. But I was single. It makes a difference, it turns out.

Dating, for a period post-layoff, was about free entertainment.Read: Cheap Dates During The Recession

I spent my severance like a paycheck, and began to collect unemployment, land some freelance here and there—but at some point, I knew I'd have to hit the savings.

When I met Sugar Boy, he was very clear: He was a dog-walker; he was a painter. He was poor; he probably even said so.

But Sugar Boy was smart and charming and he told stories about the scruffy mutts he tended to every day. Read: Pet Jealousy And How To Deal With It

I was crazy about him, but not about paying for everything: for meals cooked together; for at least my half of meals out; for transportation…

Did it make sense for me to pay so much? If I was on the other side of the equation, wouldn't I be expecting the same from the man I was dating? Yes—at least that much. I admit that I may have been influenced by my reading of the Rules (Read: Break the Dating Rules—And Win!), but it's simply a fact that a key element of the mating ritual is figuring out the dynamic that will take you into deeper stages of your relationship. For me, a good match was a man who wanted to be a provider; someone to take care of me and a potential future family.

Written by Anonymous for Recessionwire.com.

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