Dating A Golddigger
How one woman ended up paying for everything when dating during the recession.
"Let's stop and get bagels," he said.
I ordered a sesame bagel toasted with cream cheese; he ordered a plain bagel, plain cream cheese. The total was $6. I paid.
He hadn't even made a move for his wallet. And it wasn't the first time.
Six months ago, I was laid off from a job I loved and a salary I really loved. I left with a nice little pile of severance and had accumulated a substantial 401K. But I was single. It makes a difference, it turns out.
Dating, for a period post-layoff, was about free entertainment.Read: Cheap Dates During The Recession
I spent my severance like a paycheck, and began to collect unemployment, land some freelance here and there—but at some point, I knew I'd have to hit the savings.
When I met Sugar Boy, he was very clear: He was a dog-walker; he was a painter. He was poor; he probably even said so.
But Sugar Boy was smart and charming and he told stories about the scruffy mutts he tended to every day. Read: Pet Jealousy And How To Deal With It
I was crazy about him, but not about paying for everything: for meals cooked together; for at least my half of meals out; for transportation…
Did it make sense for me to pay so much? If I was on the other side of the equation, wouldn't I be expecting the same from the man I was dating? Yes—at least that much. I admit that I may have been influenced by my reading of the Rules (Read: Break the Dating Rules—And Win!), but it's simply a fact that a key element of the mating ritual is figuring out the dynamic that will take you into deeper stages of your relationship. For me, a good match was a man who wanted to be a provider; someone to take care of me and a potential future family.
Written by Anonymous for Recessionwire.com.
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Discussion
I met the most amazing man. He came into my workplace for 6 months making cute small talk and staring at me. He'd call me (at work) and gasped when I called him by name. "You say my name so amazingly". He passed me notes that said I have a crush on you. I finally agreed to go out with him and my friends. If they liked him he passed muster. He paid that first time. He said we needed to take things slowly...once or twice a week. We'd go to the movies, to restraunts, he'd come to my house where I cooked or had purchased take out. I paid. He started behaving in a rude manner towards me that I should have noticed the red flags. He'd show up late or he wouldn't show up at all or he'd have some wild excuse. He called me Baby, Darling. Sweetheart, Honey.
He wanted to go to Real Estate classes. I went to and paid for both of us. It took me a year to get his class money back after he casually asked if I'd write the check and he'd pay me back. I didn't get my money back until his Dad from another country sent him thousands of dollard to cover his living expenses. I had to ask him to pay me back. He bragged his Dad sent him lots of money. I asked if he ever considered trying to repay his Dad. He expressed shock I'd even ask and told me "no, why should I"?
After about two and a half years of accepting him just the way he was. He came to me almost crying, he was in forclosure, what am I going to do? I LENT him almost $5,000.00. He dumped me by text message less than two weeks after. He had been "dating" another woman while with me. I still haven't collected all of the money I lent him. He has grudgingly, incrimentally repaid me almost half but I have to harass him. I will NOT let it go he will pay me back.
I know this is the age of equal treatment for women but if a man wants a woman to pay it is my belief he is a user and an opportunist, and maybe a narcisist
