Advice: Your Ex Husband, His New Wife, Your Kids
What do you do when your ex-husband's new girlfriend sees your kids more than you do?
Kevin Federline, Britney Spears' baby-daddy, is in talks to star in a new reality show starring himself, his new, live-in girlfriend Victoria Prince, and possibly his and Brit's two kids, Jayden James and Sean Preston, according to MTV News.
Normally there's be nothing remarkable about this—D-list celebrities signing their lives away for money and dubious notoriety is nothing new. The interesting part of this story is that Kevin Federline lives with another woman. And since he and Britney share custody of the two children, the new girlfriend sees the kids at least as much as Brit. (According to TMZ, during her tour Britney is seeing the kids more than 50 percent of the time, but after the tour they go back to splitting it 50/50.) Brit-Brit is apparently OK with the new show. No news on whether she's OK with another woman spending tons of time with her kids, but we wonder… 15 Common Divorce Mistakes
So how do you deal with a situation where your kids are spending a lot of time around another mother figure? We turned to the experts at First Wives World for help. To start with, you have to get along with your spouse. FWW has three tips:
1. Be nice when you talk to him—which means choosing your words carefully so small barbs and passive aggressive comments don’t slip in. Using phrases like "if you wouldn't mind" and "please." Don't, as the NY Post reported, call him K-Fatterline, even if he's gained weight.
2. Do what you say you're going to do. Be on time, don't switch up the schedule at the last minute and if you must change, apologize. Your life may be a circus, but when your late for the third time, no matter how tight your red latex body suit is, saying "oops, I did it again" won't cut it.
3. Don't say nasty things about him to other people. It may feel good in the moment, but it can only hurt in the long run—especially if you speak poorly about him in front of you kids. After all, you married him! 5 Reasons Not To Air Your Ex's Dirty Laundry
The second step is getting along with his wife. FWW says you don't have to be friends with her. "We choose our friends, not our relatives, and in a sense your ex's new wife is a step relative." But you do have to be civil. "This is in the best interests of your kids, who have been through enough and may be having a hard time with their new stepmother."
Discussion
Considering I'm still friends with a couple of my exes and on really good terms with most I think I could pull this off. My biggest concern would really be how many possible "father figures" my ex would be introducing to the kids and what caliber of men they are. I'm not saying it would be easy, but I'd like to be sure that whoever the guy is would be an excellent role model for my child...'course thats one place that I really have no say as its up to her who she brings home. Part of me is already conscious of how I think the women I date would work as a mother. Granted, what I imagine and what would really happen are two different things, but you should still be able to get a feel for how your partner will be as a parent and if their ideology on raising children is in line with yours.
