We know you want to, but in the long run it would be better if you just kept your mouth shut.
Over the past week, some high-profile celebrities have made waves by airing dirty laundry about their exes. First, there was Ben Affleck, talking to the press about how his career suffered as a result of his relationship with Jennifer Lopez, and how, while he was with her, he felt "suffocated, miserable and gross."
During the same twenty-four hour period, Katie "Jordan" Price gave a primetime television interview in which she spilled the beans about the stresses that led to her separation from Peter Andre and revealed the fact that she suffered a miscarriage just weeks before the two called it quits. What Divorce Really Feels Like
J.Lo, thus far, has kept mum about Ben's uncharitable words. Peter Andre, on the other hand, has been forthright about the fact that he wishes Katie would have kept her heavily made-up trap shut, writing in a column for New! magazine that: "By revealing all about the baby we lost, Kate went against everything we said we would never do."
Was Price wrong to have revealed to the world such personal information about her final weeks with Andre? Was he wrong to have publicly critizicized her afterward? Was Affleck justified in talking about his frustrations with the Bennifer Industrial Complex, considering he made up one half of it? In short, should people be allowed to bitch and moan to their heart's content about everyone they once dated? How To Fight With Your Man
We think so, but only if it's behind closed doors.
The thing is, we all have ugly stories we could tell about the people we've loved over the years (or hooked up with, as the case may be). In some cases, such stories help to remind us of why we're better off without those people. In others, they help us to better assess who we're with right now. And sometimes, with a few close friends, they simply make for hilarious happy hour conversation.
But airing dirty laundry to more than our very nearest and dearest (whether it's by Twitter feed, in the office cafeteria, or on television) isn't just bad form, it's bad for you and your future social life. We suggest you don't do it. Here's why:
1. You might think that dishing dirt on exes makes you appear experienced, observant and witty, but more often than not, it just makes you look insensitive and mean.
2. As we all learned in first grade, what goes around comes around; not just in dodgeball, but in the greater world. Unless you want to open yourself up to criticism about your personal quirks and defeats, don't complain to strangers about your ex's.
3. Spreading stories about how John is afraid to be aggressive in bed or about how Tony doesn't know how to put on a condom might no longer be true. You've changed over the years. No doubt, they have as well. Spilling beans sometimes means inadvertently telling lies, and we know you don't want to come off as a liar. White Lies In Relationships
4. Dishing on exes is bad for your dating life. Doing so suggests you're not over the ex, that you're overly critical in relationships, and that you're certainly not worth opening up to with sensitive issues (unless people are okay with those issues being broadcast to the world).
5. It might be tempting to retailiate when an ex is badmouthing you or sharing information you thought was just between the two of you. But don't. You'll get a lot more respect from others (and from yourself, to boot) by taking the high road.