5 Reasons Not To Air Your Ex's Dirty Laundry
We know you want to, but in the long run it would be better if you just kept your mouth shut.
Over the past week, some high-profile celebrities have made waves by airing dirty laundry about their exes. First, there was Ben Affleck, talking to the press about how his career suffered as a result of his relationship with Jennifer Lopez, and how, while he was with her, he felt "suffocated, miserable and gross."
During the same twenty-four hour period, Katie "Jordan" Price gave a primetime television interview in which she spilled the beans about the stresses that led to her separation from Peter Andre and revealed the fact that she suffered a miscarriage just weeks before the two called it quits. What Divorce Really Feels Like
J.Lo, thus far, has kept mum about Ben's uncharitable words. Peter Andre, on the other hand, has been forthright about the fact that he wishes Katie would have kept her heavily made-up trap shut, writing in a column for New! magazine that: "By revealing all about the baby we lost, Kate went against everything we said we would never do."
Was Price wrong to have revealed to the world such personal information about her final weeks with Andre? Was he wrong to have publicly critizicized her afterward? Was Affleck justified in talking about his frustrations with the Bennifer Industrial Complex, considering he made up one half of it? In short, should people be allowed to bitch and moan to their heart's content about everyone they once dated? How To Fight With Your Man
We think so, but only if it's behind closed doors.
The thing is, we all have ugly stories we could tell about the people we've loved over the years (or hooked up with, as the case may be). In some cases, such stories help to remind us of why we're better off without those people. In others, they help us to better assess who we're with right now. And sometimes, with a few close friends, they simply make for hilarious happy hour conversation.
But airing dirty laundry to more than our very nearest and dearest (whether it's by Twitter feed, in the office cafeteria, or on television) isn't just bad form, it's bad for you and your future social life. We suggest you don't do it. Here's why:
1. You might think that dishing dirt on exes makes you appear experienced, observant and witty, but more often than not, it just makes you look insensitive and mean.
2. As we all learned in first grade, what goes around comes around; not just in dodgeball, but in the greater world. Unless you want to open yourself up to criticism about your personal quirks and defeats, don't complain to strangers about your ex's.
Discussion
great point, K! don't do it. at one time you both loved (or at least liked) and trusted each other. forget about the bad. take the good, pack it away and walk forward into new adventures and meetings. what would you gain from trying to humiliate someone you once cared about? not one thing. you're better than that.
I have found that other people can't stop talking, and letting it go. When my last ex and I split up, everywhere I went, people wanted to fill you in on every detail of their lives, no matter how much I told them it was none of my business, and I didn't want to talk about it. He, however, did not extend the same courtesy. He had been trashing me around town the moment we started having problems. Half of which were not even true. You would be amazed the things I was told later, but I felt it was more his issue than mine. If these people chose to believe his lies, than they knew very little about me, and were no friends of mine to begin with.
I am all about talking bad about the ex, the only rule is, you only talk bad TO the ex you're badmouthing. If I feel the need to say something aweful I want to make sure I say it to the person who is making me feel this way. And it's acually worked wonders for me. No drawn out drama, no innocent bystanders involved.
Totally true. When talking about an ex, keep it to your closest friends. There are problems in all relationships that work, so obviously problems existed in a relationship that didn't work. Everyone knows that, no need to detail it to the world. Also, remember that you were an equal part of the equation. Maybe he was bad in bed because he thought sex with you was awful, you never know his side. Nice article, Kristen!
