Today In WTF: This Crazy Man Dug Up A Dead Body To Have Sex With It

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Man Dug Up A Dead Body To Have Sex With It

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Sex

And that's not the craziest part.

It's not easy being a 23-year-old virgin, especially when you're a shy man who's into fairy tales ... at least according to Nicholas Grunke's defense attorney, Suzanne Edwards. You see, Grunke has been accused of trying to dig up the body of a dead woman in order to have sex with her.

More specifically, he's charged with attempted third-degree sexual assault, attempted criminal damage to a cemetery, and attempted misdemeanor theft, according to The Chicago Tribune.

His attorney, however, says that there's been a huge misunderstanding. Grunke was just a shy virgin who longed for a girlfriend. When a 20-year-old woman in his area died in a motorcycle accident in 2006, he decided she'd be the perfect person with whom to "set up a fairy tale scenario" by "posing with her" in a "non-sexual way."

But prosecutor Tony Pozoski believes there was a lot more to Grunke's plan than mere posing. He argues that Grunke, his twin brother Alexander, and their friend Dustin Radke planned on "sexually assaulting" the dead body together. The proof? A van was found near the scene with shovels, a wrecking bar and a box of condoms.

Whether Grunke is found guilty of the charges is still to be determined. In the meantime, we're left with many questions, including: Why aren't Grunke's brother and friend also facing criminal charges? How does a sexual assault charge work when the "victim" is an inanimate object/dead? What kind of fairy tales involve rolling around naked with dead bodies?

And finally, shouldn't Grunke be commended for at least trying to practice safe sex under the circumstances?

 

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