Sex

Doing THIS Boosts Your Chances Of Getting Pregnant (Says Science)

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babymaking sex

Have you ever been smacked in the face with the perfect solution to a difficult problem? When the smacking recedes, is the red mark on your face one of disappointment in yourself? Does the hand print on that red mark have the word "duh" written in hieroglyphics?

Science just slapped the lot of us across the kisser with this tasty little treat. Male fertility can increase by up to 26 percent by ejaculating daily ... rather, 26 percent of sperm damage decreases. According to LittleAbout.com, motility—whose lack is the bane of my man Tom Teicholz's existence—increases "slightly but significantly" with daily ejaculation.

I don't know if having sex more regularly to become fertile is brilliant in it's simplicity or simple in it's brilliance, but you'd have to imagine that the cascade-effect also increases the odds of conception.

If a man sexes up his lady friend (or special lady) more regularly, he will (in all likelihood) become better at it, and increase the chances of her orgasming, which makes her somewhat more fertile ... and eliminates some of the backflow (ewww). And yes, I looked it up; women orgasm now, too.

Next, since sperm survive upwards of five days, but normally one or two, flooding that zone with frogmen around ovulation can only increase chances of conception.

Obviously, abstinence is the best way to prevent a baby from being put in someone's belly, but it's mildly ironic that "spilling no seed" makes a deleterious impact on future attempts to procreate. A nice combination of condom use, the pill, pull 'n pray, smoking pot, and spermicidal lubricant also make baby-making an exercise in futility.

As Steve Carell's character from The 40 Year Old Virgin says, maybe if you don't use it, you do lose it.

Ideally, this "do it early, do it often" technique will be the solution for most guys, but some "silly pants McGruber" urologists think that keeping laptops off laps, wearing boxer shorts, refraining from hot tub use, exercise, proper diet, and girdle-like contraptions that circulate water around a guys genitals also work.

It takes it a village (of treatments) to combat male infertility, but any woman attempting to have a baby should probably stay as attractive to her guy as possible, just in case science figures out that it's a major factor.

This whole "doing something over and over again to increase one's chances of success" sounds an awful lot like practice. Allen Iverson knows how I feel about practice.

Any tales of woe—or whoa—on the male fertility front?