Losing My Husband, Then Learning Of His Infidelity

At age 44, Julie Metz's seemingly perfect life of husband, daughter, work-from-home occupation and house in the suburbs all but disappeared when her husband unexpectedly died. Becoming a widow and a single mother would only be the tip of the iceberg of challenges for Metz, as she later learned of her deceased husband's infidelities. How do you reconcile and forgive when the person who caused you pain is dead? This and other questions serve as the basis for Metz's memoir of "betrayal and renewal," Perfection: A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal, published in June and currently ranking sixteenth on the New York Times bestselling nonfiction list.

A forthcoming Q&A with YourTango delves into Metz's triumph over not only loss but infidelity and explores her hard-won battle to rediscover trust and love. The following is an excerpt from the book's first chapter and describes the day her world turned upside down—for the first time—when her husband passed away. 

From PERFECTION by Julie Metz. Copyright 2009 Julie Metz. Published by Voice. Available wherever books are sold. All rights reserved.

It happened like this: Henry's footsteps on the old wooden floorboards. The toilet flushing. More footsteps, perhaps on the stairs. Silence. Then the thud.

I was working downstairs in my office on a bitterly cold Wednesday afternoon.

My workspace was an enclosed sunporch off our living room, the small-paned windows on three sides framing a view of the snowy hills across the road. Wrapped in a shawl,wearing fuzzy socks on my chilled feet, I continued studying the project on my computer screen. I had been a graphic designer for nearly twenty years, a freelancer, specializing in cover designs for book publishers.