Is Chivalry Dead? 5 Men Discuss
When is Chivalry appropriate?
Our 5-man panel tackles the age-old question.
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Discussion
I truly hope that chivalry isn't dead. I've been trying to teach it and explain it to my son, but also calling it respect, and kindness. My wife likes it, but she often cautions me that not as many women seem to understand it now days. I see it a lot in the area I grew up in, too many younger women and girls just simple expect the world to be given to them, and the younger men and boys either set themselves up to be walked all over, or become disrespectful little s***s calling females derogatory names.
We have to ask ourselves, "Why are we doing it?" Is it to be nice, kind and respectful? Hopefully not just to get something later.
If you truly care about the person, then by all means do it! Open doors, hold chairs, but if they seem to just expect it because they are female, then to me, it kind of becomes a waste of time.
Women should be treated with kindness and respect, given daily reminders of beauty and why we love them, but I honestly don't like it when some women, especially younger ones now, just seem to expect it, simply for being born female.
It all comes down to how you define chivalry. If it's common courtesy to all (as the article states) [some bullshit feminist article now tries to equate chivalry with common courtesy while still trying to retain some of the entitlements originally associated with chivalry], then I have no qualms with that. However, many view chivalry as how a man treats a woman, which is total BS. Chivalry is all about unsubstantiated gender-based entitlement. To say that you deserve something from a man solely based on your gender has no place in the 21st century. I say that respect is earned (never automatic and certainly not because of your DNA) and men can treat women very well (and they get the same in return) without the need for chivalry. chivalry is all about what the man is supposed to do – what women unilaterally expect, demand, and are entitled to receive from men. Never any mentions of how women should reciprocate to men, other than showing up to enjoy themselves.Chivalry differs from civility, which is a two-way street of considerate, generous behaviour. Civility is bereft of gender-based entitlement and I’m a strong advocate for this type of behaviour. We should do nice things for each other, perform acts of kindness to all people, and treat others the way you wish to be treated (regardless of gender).
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Well, as a woman, I can say that I do like chivalry, but I like it when it seems like the guy just does it because he likes me, not because he's trying too hard to impress me, or because he thinks I can't do things for myself.
I also don't believe that women should just stand by and let the men do everything in the world. Yes, it's nice if he opens the door for me, but if I get to the door first, there's no reason that I can't hold it open for him.
The other thing is, many men are chivalrous in some ways, but then the opposite in others, leading to confusion. For example, if I'm on a dinner date and my date pulled out my chair when we sat down, but then when I get up to go to the restroom, he keeps on eating without looking up to excuse me from the table, I begin to second-guess the chivalry from before.
I know it's confusing, and most of it is the fact that we women are picky, self-centered creatures that don't know what the hell we want. (Don't lie, ladies, you know it's true. It's not our fault, it's just the way we are.)
Coming from a guy. A lot of women say they like men to be chivalrous but then will not develop a romantic connection with a guy who displays it. The chivalrous guy seems to become "just a friend". The a*****e gets the girl because he has an edge to him and this phenomenon seeing to be spawning a bizarre way men hit on girls now. The whole "cocky but funny" method. Personally I was raised to be chivalrous and i think its all about a guys just respecting you enough to do something for you. OBVIOUSLY you can open a door for yourself but that not the point and i wish a lot more girls would get that.
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Chivalry is not a form of regarding someone as lesser or anything like that. It is simply respect or politeness towards someone of the opposite sex.
i love it when guys do little things like get the door for you. the thing with me is i like "bad boys" so when they show off their softer/nicer side my heart melts
see, i don't think holding the door open is a chivalrous thing to do...as a woman, i do that for the people behind me, because it's a nice thing to do. i would want guys to do that for me, when the situation presents itself, because he's a nice guy and i'm a human being, not because he's a man and i'm a woman. people should be respectful and nice to EACH OTHER (male OR female), without sex entering into the equation (a woman on a pedestal is bad bc she's an idealization, not a real person).
Chivalry is in hybernation because many girls get pisssed if you treat them to nicely because they think u are demoralizing them.... i hate that tho im only 17 and i belive in chivalry
Chivalry is to show women men's muscular power and women's delicacy/tenderness are both needed for a family to be blessed!
it's funny how realism tends to dismantle,
Chilvarly is an excuse to give women "attitude and, respect" that no one really deserves, you're a female, you're a human just like me, you don't deserve anything better than me.
I will open the door out of kindness, and self will, not because you're a woman
chivalry is biased in that sense, and frankly, i'm not going to be an ignorant moron.
They wanted feminism, they can attend to the responsibilities now.
If you hold a door open for every person who's behind you simply because you are a nice guy, I will most likely be even more attracted to you. However, not all women believe in feminism and expect a different kind of respect simply because we have the babies.
The only thing Chivalry will get you to a girl is "I only see you as a Friend." .....Yea....
I would be very mad if my guy would ask my parents for my hand. I am an independent person and I can decide for myself. I know it's just a formality, but I look at it as being offensive.
don't worry, I don't think anyone will be in a hurry to marry you any time soon anyway. lol
You would be also very retarded. Probably underaged to understand this s**t.
Guys dont ask your parents for your hand in marriage. They ask for their blessings. After that they ask you with the ring and u stupid hoe can say "NO!" and save that guy the trouble of a retarded wife.
Of course there are guys who do nice things for girls, but let me ask a questions. Is it still chivalry if the guy has intentions? I wouldn't say that free drinks is chivalry because everyone what kind of message that sends.
Chivalry has not died and won't ever. I think its evolved slightly. I think the coming of the feminist movement has placed women and men on equal grounds to be respectful for one another.
I open doors for both men and women. There were a few times women opened doors for me. There are times where I try to let a woman go first, and I wait for like 2 or 3 good seconds and say to myself "Ok, fine. You had your chance now I'm going through."
I like your thinking! That's exactly how I feel! What pisses me off is when you open doors for guys and they refuse to go through...it's just a door! God!
I'm planning on asking my girlfriends parents first before I marry her.. although her mother isn't the easiest person to get along with (over possesive, controlling, her way or the highway sort, etc) I still think its still a sign of respect, i'm not doing it for their parents, i'm doing it for the girl i'm asking to marry because I know she will respect me for doing it.
Any man in his right mind should ask their parents first even if they don't like you. Its still better in the long run.
LOVE this!! Your gf is a lucky woman! I'd want my boyfriend to ask my parents first before proposing. I have a tight-knit family and want them to be part of it. Especially since I'm in a family of all daughters, I want the blessings of my family before I get married. As for chivalry in general nothing turns me on more than masculinity mixed with sensitivity which is what chivalry is. Yes I open doors for people in general because it's a polite/courteous thing to do but my relationship with a potential boyfriend isn't between me and the entire world, just me and the guy.
as they said in the video, it is better to ask for their blessings. Sadly, the tradition of asking for a woman's hand in marriage comes from times when daughters were seen as property of their parents. I know now isn't the case, but it is better to be respectful for the identity of the person you wan to marry, and notify her first.
now, if you think your girlfriend would like it old school, go ahead, have fun.
I was going to say the exact same thing. I mean, maybe they aren't really better, but they make you feel like they always pay attention to you (in and out of the bed room) and that's what makes a girl feel better and us feeling better makes them better. Am I making any sense?
its a sign of respect (to ask a father or mother for permission to marry their child).
truth is, if they say yes or if they say no, you are still gonna marry her. regardless of that fact, its a sign of respect. i think it says, 'hey, you parents have busted your ass to raise this girl into a beautiful woman. i respect you for that and i want to take care of her now. may i have your permission?".
its very respectful and i think its NOT DEAD.
i think hot chicks of any age will receive favors or more attention than others.
I don't feel like chivalry is dead. I have plenty of undeserved favors done for me just for being a "cute girl" ranging from free drinks at bars to holding doors to help moving heavy equipment. I have noticed, however, that there seems to be less chivalry in New England than there is in the south.
I may be considered wrong for stating this but it's not the fault of men!
Chivalry has been long dead in America for almost 2 generations! Just as several of the gentleman stated, when they do something polite for women, they get funny looks, or a hostile comment!
I think it stems from the fact that so many Americans have grown up without "The gentleman factor" for quite sometime. Too many American women think that they are "just like men" or "don't need a man to do anything for me". It's sad.
Now, personally I think women should be paid equally for the same occupations, allowed to have any professions that they desire, and should not be judged for how they choose to dress. I also think that women should be more considerate of men when they are being gentlemen! "Thank You" and smiles are far more "lady like" that rude comments, and scowls.
Americans in general, regardless of gender are rude, angry , and could care less about their fellow man. The previous opinion was correct, more should give up their seats to pregnant women, the elderly, disabled, etc. It never hurts to assist someone, regardless of gender, we're all human!
