As relationship therapists and researchers, we've talked to hundreds of women who married the wrong guys for the wrong reasons. What's even more amazing is that every one of them knew they were making a mistake as they were walking down the aisle. What can we learn from their mistakes? If you hear yourself saying any of the following, it may be a sign that you need to call off your wedding:
"If it doesn't work out, we can always get a divorce."
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Already thinking that divorce may be in your future is a big red flag about the relationship. Divorce is a miserable, messy and expensive. The women we talked to said it was the most painful experience of their life. Even when YOU are the one serving the papers—it will be more stressful than you ever imagined. Don't walk down the aisle with someone you're not sure about.
"We've dated for so long; I don't want to waste the time I've invested in the relationship."
Don't marry a guy just because you've dated him for a long time. Length of relationship does not equal healthy relationship. If you've been settling for a ho-hum, less than fulfilling romantic relationship, don't turn it into a boring, unhappy marriage. He doesn't have to be a liar and a cheater to be wrong for you. Not sure if you should stay together or break up? Use this formula.
"Things will get better after the wedding."
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What you see is what you get! Your relationship will not instantly change and improve after you get married. An unfaithful fiance will be an unfaithful husband. A short-tempered and dishonest boyfriend will be a short-tempered and dishonest groom. Don’t marry someone thinking they will change. If your groom-to-be has character traits or issues that you don’t like—don't fool yourself into thinking flaws will magically disappear after your wedding.
While the women we talked to were very different, their reasons for going through with a mistaken marriage were surprisingly similar. We heard variations of these same three reasons over and over again. If you are telling yourself the same things, or believe that you may be marrying the wrong guy—you need to put the brakes on the wedding planning. Don't say "I do" when you are thinking "I don't!" For more reasons why women marry the wrong guy for the wrong reason visit www.coldfeetpress.com or read How to Marry the Wrong Guy: A guide for avoiding the biggest mistake of your life. But it at Amazon.com.