Female Masturbation. Man's Ultimate Fantasy?


Woman taking off glasses
One man's plea for women to open up about self-gratification and share it with their men.

There are two types of women in the world: women who are totally comfortable with masturbation and those who are ashamed of the act. I realize there are more than two types of women in the world, so forgive my rhetorical cheat. It's for a good cause.

I don't know why some women are weird about pleasuring themselves. I am not, in fact, a woman. But to those who are embarrassed about it, please, think about rubbing one out for your boyfriend or husband tonight. He will love it. There are few spectacles as captivating as a woman getting herself off. It is pure sex on toast. Watching your girl squirm, growl, and hit the right buttons while you whisper dirty little secrets and improper commands is so hot, it makes my guts ache. It's vulnerable, and intimate, and epically eye-crossing. Read: Self Pleasure For Beginners


Not to mention: a woman who knows how to detonate her own "O"-bomb, is a woman who is determined to get some when she's crunching it out with her man. Which is to say, she is more likely to bring the thunder in bed, as you both buck, bite, and claw your way to climaxes that are your birthright. Everybody has the right to orgasms that leave you flush, mildly stinky, and staring blankly at ceilings.

Of course, there was that one girlfriend who was such a master of the orgasmic arts that when she introduced her "rabbit" vibrator, all I could ask was, "So, you're into giant, Pink Sasquatches from Mars?" I didn't really tell her that, as I knew it was a big deal for her to introduce me to her toys. Eventually, I was able to wean her off the alien penis when we were together, because watching her stroke herself with the quick skill of a concert violinists fingers was so much more hypnotic.

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