"Is It Open Bar?" 34 Thoughts We Have At Weddings
When wedding season opens for business, we start to wonder what all the guests are thinking.
Whether you're there for the party, the romance or the open bar, weddings are—generally speaking—a blast. Yes, bridesmaids grumble about shelling out Louboutin prices for pastel taffeta, and the mother of the groom might have beef with the mother of the bride, but you wouldn't know it by looking at their beaming faces.
Weddings are inspirational: they rouse us to meditate on our own love stories, to feel our hearts swell as our friends find their life partners, and to wonder "When do we start drinking?" If thought bubbles could appear above the heads of wedding guests, here's what they might say:
1. Isn't this whole "giving the bride away" idea somewhat archaic?
2. Is that a baby bump or has she just gained weight?
Watch: Bride and Groom Like Big Butts (They Cannot Lie)
3. I love how happy they look. Do they feel the way they imagined they'd feel?
4. Are they going to have an open bar?
5. Damn, my shoes are sinking into the grass.
6. I'm so happy I'm not a bridesmaid.
7. Wow, the best man is cute. I wish I were a bridesmaid.
8. It's so weird that I slept with him in college.
9. Is the groom drunk?
Read: I Was A Groomzilla: Advice From The Trenches
10. And here comes Corinthians...
11. Hmm, love really is blind, isn't it?
12. Will I ever be the one up there getting married?
13. Yes, yes. Love. Yadda yadda yadda. Bring on the cake.
Read: Is Wedding Pie The New Wedding Cake?
14. T-minus five years till divorce.
15. How many weddings have I been to where they quoted Kahlil Gibran?
16. I wonder if there's cocktail hour before dinner.
17. Please don't let them play the Macarena.
Discussion
This article made me depressed, angry, and disgusted! Are we so immature, jealous, and emotionally destructive as a society that so few of the listed comments were positive? I think weddings should be happy for everyone, including guests.
Oh come on, surely not every marriage you've witnessed has been a glorious union of souls. If so, then you've gotten a good batch. Some weddings I've been to have been these joyous uplifting occasions, others, let's not kid ourselves: I was just waiting to take a swig of rum from the flask hiding in my push-up bra.
