Go inside the boys' club: read dating advice written for guys and learn red flags they look for.
Women are the traditional consumers of self-help books, but guys need advice too. And what better way to find out what goes on inside his head than to read dating advice written by and for men? (Some might say you could ask him, but where's the fun in that?)
In this spirit we bring you this piece by men's lifestyle expert, Oliver "Ali" Nejad, who fills you in on four red flags men look for when they're on a date.
Gentlemen, over the course of our dating careers one of the easiest things we've learned to pick up on are "green flags," or signs that a woman is willing or ready to accept our advances toward her. This is partly because we are constantly looking for these sorts of signs. They lead us to that which we are hoping to experience: a successful romantic pursuit. What we fail to do as well as this however, is look for "red flags," or reasons why we should abandon the SS Future Fling with the fervor of Titanic passengers. Read: 12 Relationship Red Flags
Red flags take many forms, most of which we will gladly dismiss or overlook in favor of making things work with someone initially, but will only prove to light a retroactive bulb in our heads down the line when we realize we could've predicted the incompatibility. So to help temper our compatibility biases, I have assembled the following typical red flags (at least for me):
1) Pets: If a woman shows a remarkable, borderline inordinate amount of affection for her pet, it is tempting to regard her as a very sweet person. Trouble is you will often find yourself riding backseat while Fido rides shotgun in the love-mobile. You should never be a third wheel in her bed, especially on a cold night spent with poochy running an anti-spooning campaign. Pay attention to moments spoiled by her need to get away and feed/water/walk the dog, and you won't be rolling your eyes down the line when you find yourself in a veterinary waiting room with an engagement ring in your pocket. Read: Pet Jealousy And How To Deal With It
2) PIMs: Personal Information Managers can take many forms. Devices that come to mind are Crackberrys and iPhones, but I am going to lump social networking sites into the mix as well: Facebook, MySpace, and Friendster just to name a few. If a woman spends several hours a day on these sites, or more criminally several minutes a date texting/emailing etc., you'll find yourself wishing you had the pet problem instead. This sort of attention deficit will eventually wear thin on you, and isn't likely to be something you can wean her off of anytime soon. Even the most low maintenance of us have a certain amount of need to be focused upon, especially early on when we are looking to engage someone in informative conversations about one another. Poll: Dating By Texting: Are You A Fan?
3) LTR Talk: When conversation that revolves around a Long Term Relationship rears its head early in your dating, it's generally a sign of a presumptuous and possessive woman. This type can take the form of smitten-kitten or pants-wearer but in either extreme is equally as dangerous. If it's reciprocal love at first sight then more power to you both, but if the affair is one-sided, get the hell out of Dodge! Who wants to hear what the kids you didn't even know you were having are going to be named? Or where the wedding you didn't even sign on for will be held? You can bank on a total lack of control and reasonable freedom in a relationship with these types, and last I checked that didn't graft well onto the archetypal male.
2. Chris Martin: Who cares if he is reportedly loved up with Jennifer Lawrence as his first post-Gwynnie romance? He is a singer and a songwriter, and he is a true musical talent. Just like Mimi. Duet, anyone?
6. Lenny Kravitz: The singer (and her Precious co-star) is a stylish, snazzy dresser and a huge talent. Don't act like you can't picture him and Mimi holding hands while sunning themselves on a yacht or holding onto one another while cruising down a street on a moped in downtown NYC.
8. Usher: Imagine the beautiful music that Mimi and Usher would make? Swoon. Knees weak. We can't even. The R&B world would stop spinning on its axis. Their duet "How Much" was incredible, and we need more. Especially a ballad!
9. Prince Harry: He is British royalty. She is American — make that global— pop music royalty. The Prince and The Queen. It'd be like a fairytale. There'd be no better cougar than Mariah Carey, either!
10. Robin Thicke: Could Carey help him mend his broken heart after the split with Paula Patton? Lord knows his creepy Patton-centric album Paula flopped, as did her Me. I Am Mariah ... The Elusive Chanteuse, so this could be a personal and professional pick me up for both singers. Redemption!
1. Marc Anthony: A diva war might ensue over this, but Mimi could totally hook up with J. Lo's ex. They both have twins! Come on! Monroe, Moroccan, Max and Emme play dates would be rad. Bring it.