... as told by a man who's had ENOUGH.
Women are the traditional consumers of self-help books, but sometimes it helps to have a guy's opinion. Obviously dudes think on a totally different wavelength than women, so below is a bit of advice to save us both the horrible first-date heartache.
Here are 4 seemingly simple mistakes women make when out with guys that drive MEN crazy:
1. She's completely obsessed with her pets.
If a woman shows a remarkable amount of affection for her pet, it's tempting to regard her as a really sweet person. Trouble is, we often find ourselves riding backseat while Fido rides shotgun in the love-mobile. And we should never be a third wheel in bed — especially on a cold night spent with poochy running an anti-spooning campaign.
Women should pay attention to moments spoiled by their need to get away and feed/water/walk the dog so we won't be rolling our eyes down the line when we find ourselves in a veterinary waiting room with an engagement ring in our pocket.
2. She won't get off her effing phone.
If she spend several hours a day — or more criminally, several minutes on a first date — on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, guys will find themselves wishing they had the pet problem instead. This sort of attention deficit will eventually wear thin, and isn't likely to be something we can wean her off of anytime soon. Even the most low maintenance of us guys have a certain amount of need to be focused upon, especially early on when we are looking to engage someone in informative conversations about one another.
3. She brings up "lets be exclusive" talk WAY too soon.
When conversation that revolves around a long term relationship rears its head early in dating, it's generally a sign of a presumptuous and possessive woman. We see this type as "smitten-kitten" or "pants-wearer," but either extreme is equally dangerous.
If it's reciprocal love at first sight then more power to you both, but if the affair is one-sided, we see it as time to get the hell out of dodge! Who wants to hear about kids or a wedding on the first date?
4. She has no opinions about anything at all.
This is the trickiest red flag. Many guys have been conditioned to have an affinity for the less intelligent woman because she's almost always less challenging and opinionated, making for more deference and agreeability — less threatening attributes to our male bravado.
But don't be fooled into thinking that this lack of intelligence is something we carry a preference for deep into a relationship. In fact, the burdens and challenges couples inevitably face will be shouldered exclusively by us in such an arrangement. These pairings are thoroughly devoid of a sense of "team." Experience tells us that men do best when we're pushed a little — and that is something the ditzes haven't figured out yet.