How To Break Up With A Man: Don't Be Ambiguous

How To Break Up With A Man: Don't Be Ambiguous

How To Break Up With A Man: Don't Be Ambiguous

breakup advice
Break-up advice: five essential tips about the right way to end a relationship with your boyfriend.

You know something is wrong between you and him, so do you just pull the trigger, kill this relationship dead and move on? No, take a moment. Look at what you used to have between the two of you and what you've got now. Make a list of where you two have gone off the rails. Seeing your problems in black and white helps you put things in perspective. Watch: Relationship Red Flags

The next question to ask yourself is do you want to put things back on track? If you think with some tweaking, you can get your relationship running smooth, then it's worth doing, isn't it? 

You've assessed how you feel, now for the tough stuff. Talk to him about the way you feel and the changes for the worse you've noticed. Even if he's neglecting you, there may be a relationship worth saving. Guys get wrapped up in their own lives and that makes them dense to everyone around them. They may not even know they're doing you harm. Also guys are not talkers. His turning away from you could be indicative of his fears. He may be worried things are moving too fast and this is his way of slowing things down or it could be something outside of your relationship that's sucking up his energy. Either way, get to the bottom of the problem. But if you've tried getting through to him and you've tried to make changes for the better and it's all failed, then jump ship. Read: Break Up Etiquette: Dividing Your Friends

Hopefully, he'll respond to you pointing out that you two are in trouble, but there's also a chance he's not interested and he doesn't care. Then, whether you like it or not, you have hit the end of the road. If it isn't working for you, then go.

Check your happiness barometer. If the needle is pointing to storm clouds all the time instead of the smiley sunshine face and you can't see a way of swinging it back, then you've got a problem. Happiness is a state of being we all should strive for; after all, life is short and can only be made longer by misery. That's not a great way to attain immortality. If your job sucks and it's bringing you down, then change jobs. If you don't like where you live, move. The same applies to relationships. If you're miserable and you can't see a way around it, break up.

Ending a relationship is never easy and requires though and strength. It's going to leave a wound, but you'll eventually heal.

Make A Clean Break
OK, you've decided it's over. You want to start fresh and meet someone compatible. This is the real tough bit. Actually ending it. It's not going to be fun, but you have to be courageous. You have to actually say the words, "It's over." There can't be any confusion. There's no good way, but some ways are better than others.

Be Direct
If you want to end the relationship, tell him face to face. No post-it notes on the refrigerator for him to find when he comes home to an empty house or letters from lawyers. The only exception to this rule is if you suspect he may become violent. But at least leave a phone message explaining yourself. Read: The #1 Reason Guys Beat Up Their Girlfriends

Don't be ambiguous. I can't stress this enough. Too many women don't want to hurt their man's feelings or try to soften the blow, so they wrap the discussion up in vagaries. They say things like, "Things aren't working out right now, but that doesn't mean I'll always feel that way." He walks away thinking he's still got a chance when there isn't one or wondering whether the relationship is really over. The more humane thing is just to say it straight. Don't disguise what you mean.

Next: The best place to break the news...

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