Love Advice From Mom
Soliciting relationship advice from those who know best, whether or not we like to admit it.
Since there have been mothers, they've been doling out advice to their children on what to eat, how to behave, and when that long-overdue haircut is urgently needed. When it comes to love, some mothers adopt a strict "don't ask, don't tell" policy while others find themselves privvy to all of their offsprings' relationship secrets.
We asked YourTango staffers to share love advice from their moms (or mother-like figures), so the rest of us might learn from them. Here are the results:
"In life and in love it's easy to know what is right and what is wrong—the hard part is following through on those choices. Honesty always works out in the long run."
- Nils Arrington, Video Production Assistant
"Some time in high school or college, I was crazy about someone and she told me 'When you grow up you can't be with the person you love all the time. You have to get used to being apart.' That was good advice at the time. Now it seems pretty obvious, and I think common sense—it wouldn't be healthy to be with the person you love all the time!"
- Sarah Harrison, Senior Editor
"Your background helps you or hurts you. She was talking about taking photographs, but it applies to love, too."
- Kevin Osgood, Video Coordinating Producer
"My mother-in-law would never give me advice (except to work less and eat more) but she does a great job communicating her 'love philosophy' through her actions. She is very attentive to her husband. She takes good care of him, and he is so appreciative and respectful of her. While she is focused on caretaking, she is also strong willed, smart, and opinionated—never subordinate in the least. It's wonderful to see how her kids also adore and respect her—I suspect, in part, because she strikes this balance of service and strength so beautifully.
Also—to the contrary—my best friend's mom said to her daughter upon moving in with her boyfriend, 'Don't do any thing for him now that you don't want to be doing for the rest of your life.' A good lesson in setting expectations and tempering behavior when you're head over heels and all you want to do is nurture."
- Andrea Miller, CEO & Founder
"Mama told me: Watch out for the bad boys because they rarely turn out to be good husbands."
- Pat Berardo, Manager
Quiz: Do You Fall For Bad Boys?
"You can't change your partner. Either accept him as he is or go your separate ways."
- Genevieve Lill, Associate Editor
Discussion
It's natural for moms to be a little strict particularly to their daughters once they enter into some kind of serious relationship. Moms are moms on which their sole concern is to protect their child in a situation they aren't ready to face.
My mom just made sure that we are properly guided when we are still kids. For in this stage, our inner values are most developed.
She also told us that it will be appropriate for us to get into serious relationship only after college because she do believe in the importance for us to finish education. When the right man comes, at least you are better prepared of emotionally and your decision-making is more mature. By that time, my mom let us experience what love is all about and she never restricted us to to feel pain and be able to stood still despite heartbreaks.
You will only understand your mom more if you too will become a mother someday...
I still believe that Mothers know best!!
Mom has always had a good ear for listening to me when i just needed to talk. some Mom's are a little nutty though. I worked with one woman, maybe 6 years older than me, who wanted to hook me up with her daughter (18 yrs old) and I'm 25. Jo (the mom) knew me long enough that it was no surprise to her when I told her "You so sure about that!?! You know I love to smoke, drink, and f**k." Yes, exact words. I hung out a lot with Jo. She still believe that I would be good for her daughter! I did hang out with her daughter for a bit, who was exceptionally mature (emotionally), but nothing ever happened. We both knew it would be fun for a bit, but M (the daughter) still had a lot of experiences to go through and knew she wasn't ready to be with someone like me. At least Jo did something right in raising her daughter!
