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The Secret To Dating Like A French Woman

Jamie Cat Callan reveals why French women don't date, and the REAL story with adultery in France.

Sometimes Bill Cunningham, the New York Times street fashion photographer, takes pictures of French women, and they always look so damn sexy. Granted, the Times is going to choose the best photos, but somehow French women always manage to look more seductive than the average American woman.

Now, it's silly to stereotype and say that all French women are sexy, but there are definite cultural differences between French women and American women—that's undeniable. It also seems unarguable that these differences are responsible for that thing French women seem to have. The thing that makes them seem fashionable and cool and charming.

Author Jamie Cat Callan grew up in America, but she has a French grandmother. After traveling between France and the U.S. time and again, Cat Callan realized that French women are, indeed, different from us when it comes to romance. But Cat Callan didn't stop at noticing—she traveled all over the country and interviewed hundreds of men and women about love, romantic customs and relationships in France.

The results are catalogued in her delightful book, French Women Don’t Sleep Alone: Pleasurable Secrets To Finding Love. YourTango spoke with Cat Callan about dating, dinner parties and adultery.

YourTango: What's the difference between dating in France and dating in the U.S.?

Jamie Cat Callan: The French don't date! In fact, when we asked French women about dating, they were completely confused. They simply don't get our penchant for going out with virtual strangers and having a two-hour interview-style date. One French woman who had lived in New York and dated, said she absolutely hated the American date, telling us it was boring and painful.

So if they don't date, how do they get to know men?

They have dinner parties. All of France, they're hosting dinner parties every Friday and Saturday night! These can be formal sit-down dinners with elaborate menus, starting with champagne—they always begin with champagne and no cheese and crackers, because they don't want to spoil the appetite. And then, foie gras on toast with a tiny layer of liquid honey, or perhaps some oysters and white wine. For winter, perhaps some potato and leek soup. They'll prepare something like a stew ahead of time and then fill in with some store-bought delicacies. For dessert, the French will have everyone move from the dining room table to the living room for liqueurs and more champagne and dessert. A big favorite is fondant au chocolate (chocolate lava cake). It's all very elegant.

However, all the parties aren't quite so formal. There are more casual versions, last-minute invitations and pot-lucks. The point is to get men and women, mixed singles and marrieds into one room for a night of lively conversation and flirting and even they even enjoy a little tussle about art or politics.

Can you relate?

Discussion

Kayda Norman Single
Posted April 15, 2009

The "Five to Seven?" Americans definitely need to start working on figuring out some cool code names to catch up.

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BigAl Taken
Posted April 15, 2009

Well, I do have to say, the French are a bit (okay, maybe a lot) more fabulous than we are on this side of the pond. I envy almost everything they do, and I definitely admire how they go about getting people together. A real team effort! I think I'm going to start throwing more dinner parties!

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LeMaster Married I was born ready.
Posted April 14, 2009

Thank God I don't have to date in groups, although I'd probably outshine the other dudes at the party, I do much better one on one with and a whole lot of booze! At least that's how my wife and I met.

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Kataroo Single Glass half full girl.
Posted April 14, 2009

Oh I love the idea of flirting and dating through parties and in groups! What fun!! I wish I the single women here had that option, everyone needs as many opportunities to find love as possible.

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Seaman Single
Posted April 14, 2009

No wonder the French women decline my invitations. I'm sticking to domestic beers and women from now on!

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Lolita Single It all feels good.
Posted April 14, 2009

I think French women know what they're talking about as they're usually more astute than their American counterparts. But I do like the dating scene. I guess whatever works to make sure you don't sleep alone. Do whatever works for you!

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Monica Freeman Taken Single Again !
Posted April 13, 2009

I'm European born, and the French stuffs OVER RATED and partially UNTRUE!

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ProudMary Starting Over
Posted April 10, 2009

I would love to spend a night around good people and good food. How could love not blossom with a little liquid honey on my plate?

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Chacha Taken
Posted April 10, 2009

Sounds delicious. Talk about a foreign policy! Love ya, ChaCha

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Anne-Marie Married
Posted April 10, 2009

Reminds me of my favorite movie, Before Sunrise, with the French actress Julie Deply. She and Ethan Hawke had what was quite possibly the most romantic date ever! They simple walked the streets of.. was it Prague? No Vienna. What could be better?

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