The "Other Woman" shares advice

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The "Other Woman" shares advice

I just finished reading a blog post discussing the issue as to whether or not the "other woman" should apologize when an affair or cheater is exposed. The arguement was that the "other woman" should apologize for everything that she did, and several of the comments conveyed that opinion. However, I have an entirely different attitude and opinion on the subject matter.

Why should the "other woman" apologize? She isn't sorry for anything. You only apologize when you're truly sorry for your actions, and in these situations the "other woman" is never sorry for what she did. Only on rare occasions does the "other woman" not know that the man is married, and in that case, I suppose that an apology would be in the works. However, when the "other woman" knows that the man is married, she knows what she's getting into, it's no secret, therefore, there is no sense in apologizing for something that you do not regret.

I've been down this road before, I have traveled this road many times, I have lived on this road, and quite frankly I know what's at the end of this road. In my opinion, there are only two types of people who do not cheat.

The person who is afraid to lose what he or she has.

AND/OR

The person who has not found someone that he or she wants bad enough.

Everyone cheats. If you're not a cheater, then I would be willing to bet that you fall into one of the two categories I listed above. I'm a cheater. I am a proud cheater. I've cheated on men that I've dated and I've been the "other woman." I've never been married, but I've had a lot of husbands to hold me. I've also been cheated on.

I have never been the type of girl that worries about whether or not her man is cheating on her. The issue is something that I very seldom think about (unless I have a strong suspicion or evidence). If he says he's working late, he's working late. If he says he's going out with friends, he's out with friends. If he says he's tired, he's tired. I don't "read between the lines" or ponder why he says or does the things he does. If he says he's been "thinking about things" - I take it at face value. Men need time to themselves too.

I work with many, many men. In fact, I work with nothing but men on most days, and we've had more therapy sessions than I'd like to recall. I work with America's finest and bravest (not to mention best looking)...Police Officers and Firefighters. I hear the horror stories, because I'm the guy's best friend or sister in most cases. I can not count how many times I've had one of the guys complain about their girlfriend or wife constantly asking them if there was someone else...when there wasn't. The guys are tormented. Usually, when they say that there is no one else, of course, she doesn't believe him, and the suspicion begins.

I hear the guys complain about the fact that they don't have what we gals refer to as "me time." He needs time to himself too. You don't need to talk to him every hour or couple of hours or every day for that matter. You don't have to be at his place or with him every moment of his off time. Let him do things with the guys, let him be alone and watch football all night, let him have room to breathe. One of the chief complaints I hear is about wives or girlfriends being too clingy or dependent. Please, stop it - for my sanity at least.

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