10 Reasons To Flirt With A Married Man
Bat an eye at a married guy without becoming a home-wrecker.
Before getting your moral molars all impacted, we'd like to make clear that we're not endorsing having an affair or ruining a perfectly good marriage (or an imperfect one, for that matter).
Whether single or taken, flirting is fun. Getting hitched helps out in the tax and health care departments, but married social life can start to feel like a blur of "dinner at the Newman's" and "girls' nights out." We already know that flirting at the office helps business and is good for substance-free spirit-lifting. Unlike flirting with single blokes, hair flips and deep conversations with married guys aren't automatic green lights for making a move. Here are ten other reasons to flirt with a man in a (wedding) band.
1. Flirting with an unavailable man can make you feel good about yourself without pressure to seal the deal—or face any sort of actual rejection. If he makes an unwanted move, you can always say "You're married! I didn't think this was going anywhere!"
2. In fact, you can try out crazy pick-up lines, silly stories and generally act however you want without worrying that he thinks you're a fool.
3. Batted lashes can make an off-the-market man feel good about himself. (This will only appeal to the altruistic among us.)
4. Sometimes social gatherings are so dull, it's either flirt with this guy or punch out that chick who will not stop talking about her Christian Louboutins.
5. Coy smiles at Mr. Married will make you seem more in-demand to Mr. Single. Translation: get that guy from way over there to come over here.
6. Entrapment. Save his wife the trouble of finding out later in life that he's a scoundrel. (Again, only for altruistic souls.)
7. It might improve your (solo) sex life: Sir Wedlock could be a new addition to your fantasy repertoire.
8. He could have a cool friend who's into forward women unafraid to chat up married guys.
9. Exchanging witty banter allows you to enjoy meeting someone new and feed the brain with interesting conversatioin. (Duh)
10. Drinks don't pay for themselves.
Discussion
well i think its a double standard.... married women like to be flirted with but its not ok for a man to eat it up? i say its no big deal as long as its all in fun.. im not saying go find a married man and rip his clothes off. im just saying a little flirting shouldnt hurt
Given the criticism this article is getting, is it any wonder that married men are a disappearing breed, especially permanently maried men? 40% of all children are now illegitimate --- and all the studies show that this is a complete disaster with sky high crime and dsyfunction for illegitimate children. Under the new People magazine morality, a guy can father any number of illegitimate children with different women and be a part-time or absent father and still be a "hero" and respected. But get married and enjoy a little flirting on the side and --- ITS LIKE CHEATING! --- what a dirt bag!! Married men in the US are now the equivalent of the veiled women of fundamentalist Islam. And if the flirting leads occasionally to a discreet affair --- OMG, all flirting with married men should be banned for that very reason --- the same justification Saudi Arabia uses for banning all contact (including visual) between a married woman and all other men besides family and husband.
Bottom line: Making "No cheating" the only sexual morality and destroying the relative status and privileges of married men might make women feel better --- but its been a disaster for society and children where a man can enjoy the attention and sexual favors of a variety of women with society's blessing as long as he never marries or, if he marries, he deserts his wife and children before resuming his sexual adventures.
Wait a minute here! Are you saying married men should be able to have sex on the side for the sake of the family???? Women should just put up with the heartache? Do you apply this in the other direction - wives can go on the Pill and have sex outside the marriage once they've made the heir and a spare?
Let's put the blame where it belongs. Cheating hurts marriages and the family and it can cause divorce. If the kids are suffering, it started with the cheater not with the other partner getting upset about it.
If you want to support the family and keep it strong, keep your genitals in your pants.
I'm sorry (not really), but I think this is just an all around BAD idea. You don't know what state the marriage is in of your "victim", and depending on that, you could be opening up something that could devastate their marriage. It's not news that men are almost always open to female attention to feed their egos. And ladies, if you need the attention of a married man to help fuel your ego, then I suggest a really good look inward. We wives need to sharpen up our relationship skills and flirt with our OWN men to keep the sizzle in our lives, and in fact, isn't this something that helps sell women's magazines? Relationships are tough enough to keep healthy without the need to ward off game playing flirts. I simply can't agree with your point of view.
Married, been flirting with man that I didn't know was married for quite some time. Now, dubious deflection on his part aside, I'm in a bit of a crush. We have occasion to be in a far away town for reasons that don't matter. It's one of those things that if I try not so hard, I can convince myself is totally platonic. When there are drinks, sometimes many, it suddenly seems different. I think sometimes I want someone to put a stop to it -- my husband, the other guy, my friends who are around -- but no one has. Then I think I want something to happen. Loads of ambivalence. But maybe it is nothing, but a lot of self-aggrandizing flirting that make a couple of married people feel better about themselves. I have reason to believe that both of us suffer from a bit of neglect from the spouse (not an excuse, but maybe a reason?) There is definite tension when the sun is up and we're sober -- maybe just on my part? I kind of just wish I knew either way, but I'm torn. I wish I had the guts to go for it or the guts to be moral, but I guess I am gutless either way. We've never been alone, and I thank the lord, else I do not know what I would do. Confused and conflicted -- how do I find out what this other person thinks without having the balls to just come out and ask?
You're addressing something WAY beyond being casually flirtatious. Most would like to keep this comment section primarily about the article above. Perhaps put your concerns in a question for "Ask Your Tango" or put it in a Y/T 'Blog' for good input,others being able to relate with it, and advice. Sounds like you are anguishing over the situation. Talk about it.
I agree wholeheartedly. Flirting -from either sex is a complement. It's warming . Big difference between flirting and seducing or propositioning. I think some may misunderstand the context presented.
Probably not a good idea around extremely jealous or insecure spouses. Nor perhaps extremely 'needy' or those you have a sense may perceive it as an invitation.
I flirt all the time around married and unmarried women. Whether my wife was around or not. INNOCENT FLIRTING! My wife (now-ex ......No-not because either one of us took flirting too far!) flirts also---but know the limits. It's meant to complement-not seduce.
I think flirting is healthy, if your in a relationship and someone else wants your man to me it makes me feel good that I have a good looking guy! It's good to know someone else wants your man, it should drive a woman to look good for herself and the man arm she's is on! Always letting them other bitches know why his ass ain't leaving home! HOLLA IF YOU FEEL ME, LADIES!
What a weird idea. A man is never completely off the market...this article brings up a bigger issue than flirting. Just because there's a ring on the finger doesnt mean that blood doesnt still flow to his prick. Sexual Flirtation w/someone you dont want anything to happen with makes about as much sense as putting on a condom without desiring to have any sex. You see if you do these things not only is it confusing but insincere and hurtful. GO ahead flirt, that man might be looking for a reason to leave his wife, but only do it if you're sincere because getting a divorce is a bigger deal than breaking up a dating couple or even an engaged one. That said some of the loneliest guys on the planet are married-meaning that some company regardless of sex will be appreciated, married guys are castigated by society currently and would love to chat with friendly women to remind them that they're not some sort of social pariah, a married guy also will know how to treat a lady properly, and also if they've married once, they're probably likely to do it again...if you are just a flirt with everyone a married man will likely pick up on it, married men aren't totally rusty in social graces (quite the contrary), they just have a whole lot less tolerance for insincere people which is also why your flirting may have virtually no effect. SO if the flirting comes across as"being nice an approachable" rather than "i only engage in social encounters for purposes of sex" please do so with the married man.
I've got a theory about that, and some of the ladies will probably chime in about it...there are times when a partner cheats because thats just the type of person they are thanks to whatever baggage it is they have, and then there are those that cheat because something in the relationship is seriously flawed. In both instances, and this is just the initial gut response I got when you asked this, if you really look at your partner and why they cheated then you also end up having to look at yourself and ask if you actually had something to do with it. If you blame the other man/woman, then obviously nothing is wrong with you, nothing is wrong with you man/woman except for a small lapse in judgement, and nothing is wrong with your relationship...it's all that scheming man/woman's fall for seducing your woman/man. Of course its outright lying to yourself, but all sorts of people have a really hard time letting them see the truth. We want to know that the person we've chosen to be with is a good choice, someone who will stand by us and be faithful, because it is, in part, a reflection of us, that we know how to pick good partners so that it means we are emotionally healthy. We (and I know these are all really over-simplified generalizations, but it is food for thought) also don't want to look beyond skin deep at ourselves, because we really want to believe that we are whole and healthy and fundamentally good people incapable of driving another person away from us. We come up with a hundred different ways to avoid taking a good look at ourselves everyday so that we don't have to see or be reminded about our own baggage, our own skeletons. Sadly, its this whole process of avoiding the real issues that just perpetuates the cycle, and therefore keeps laying the blame at that succubus that stole your man, instead of yourself and how you may have driven him away, or that you were just so lonely you just picked another a**hole and had all the proof in front of you that he would do something like this, but you don't want to believe that he is like that because you picked him and you keep telling yourself you love him.
Precisely! And might I add, you have very pretty eyes. Why do you hide them behind those sunglasses!---Now actually, that's a step above flirting-IF the other person is married! Lolita? Isn't Lolita the definition of 'flirting'? Maybe even a little bit more.
You have to be careful when flirting with married men. You don't want to seem like your trying to get in his pants cuz he just might let you. A small smile and sweet conversation goes a long way, and make sure to include the wife in the conversation by telling her she's lucky and such. As long as the wife sees that you're not trying to steel her man she may just see it as a compliment. I love it when girls check out my man, it means I've done well and makes me even more eager to keep him satisfied with me ;)
Yep I agree its a bunch of rubbish! lol
Its just PLAIN WRONG to flirt with a married man,
if any would do that with my man, she'd be digesting her teeth GUARANTEED!
So you would punch out a woman just for flirting with your partner? I'm sorry but that just sounds like you have no self esteem and that you're very immature.
This piece is straight garbage. And some of you single women wonder why your single? Flirting with a married man is a good way to get punched or even worse raped by a guy you teased and left with blue balls. And this is one of the things that give all of us women a bad name. Thankfully there are REAL women out there who don't play games like this. A simple smile does just fine. You give the right man that nudge and he might just cheat regardless of what YOU intended.
Granted married people like to flirt, but there's something cold and weird about this piece. Single women should flit with married men just to feed their own egos without having to deal with troublesome men who want you? And if he gets interested, you can attack him or even better get him in trouble with his wife? Oh, and you can get him to buy you things!
I would trust my husband if a woman was flirting with him, but I would never like the woman after that. I would not be her friend, I would not do a favor for her, and if I ever had any influence over her life, I would have to try very hard to be fair to her. This is completely hypocritical as I would be flattered if a guy flirted with me, but it's real life.
So be forewarned, if you are just flirting with a married guy for kicks, it can get you into trouble. You have no idea how the wife or husband will react.
Agreed. But if a married man bought me a drink, I'd be thinking how his wife should be a little perturbed.
Flirting is flirting....Single, married, not sure what you are! A lot of married people do it, but beware of couples like DH and I because the wife might flirt back and you could get more than you bargained for. Avoid the insanely jealous wives club, because it seems to me that they stopped punching the DH but the female flirt! I love it when DH gets flirted with. It boost his ego and lets him know he still has "got it", and I reap all the benefits. :o). A special note: boosting ego flirting is basically safe, but if you don't have any intention of going any further but play the "I could so do you" flirt game then don't follow through, or do the "No, really it is just harmless flirting. I didn't mean anything by it." Then word spreads quickly in the corporate wives/men club, and you will be noted that you play selfish mind Frekk games. Basically a prick tease. Which is okay for singles, but playing with married men can be deadly to your career. Corporate world is a world wide network now days. Also, have seen where a man filed sexual harassment charges he was so appalled....make sure you pay attention to body language and/or know their faith instead of just looking for a ring!. Keep it safe and sweet or follow through, and beware of the wives that play hard ball.....or is that the bitch slap club or pretty kitty petting club? I like petting kitties.........
