Is lust more important than emotional stability? Well, according to a this study, Spaniards say, "YES!" ... and Hollywood is to blame.
Researchers used the Love Attitude Scale, a quiz that asks people to describe how much they agree with various descriptions of love. We found several versions of the quiz online. They include statements like, "If you are going to love a person, you will 'know' after a short time" and "I could get over an affair with my partner pretty easily and quickly."
The quiz shows how much you accept six types of love: Eros, Pragma, Banquet, Mania, Ludus and Storge. Yes, they sound like exotic birds or rivers in Greece, but they actually refer to various ways people think about the big L-O-V-E. Your values depend on your personality, and, to a large extent, on the culture you were raised in.
Eros is passionate, physical, lustful love—the kind that gives you butterflies in your stomach and a tingling in certain other places.
Pragma is a practical love. People who conceive of love this way are pragmatic (you didn't see that one coming, didja?) when looking for a partner. They choose their mate based on rational decisions about whom they fit best with.
Banquet is love that expresses itself through altruism, or making sacrifices for another person.
Mania is an obsessive love that, while intimate and intense, often includes jealousy, possessiveness and a lack of communication. Maniacal love can lead to domestic violence.
Ludus is love that's a game. A Ludic lover wants to have fun, but doesn't necessarily want a serious relationship.
Storge is friendship-based love. A Storge lover wants a companion who shares her likes and dislikes and who can form a long relationship based on closeness, trust, security and affection.
Eighty percent of Spaniards agreed with the Eros characterization of love. Banquet came in second—70 percent agreed that it was acceptable. Pragma and Storge were right behind, accepted by just over half of respondents.
The study's director said that Hollywood is to blame for Eros' popularity. "Cinema has created many myths, and has made us believe things that are not real," she said. In reality "passion dwindles, and life in a couple is a transactional game in which one has to overcome frictions. The movies end when the real stories are about to begin."
Which kind of love do you value most?