The 6 Types Of Love. Which Is Yours?
There are six types of love; Spaniards want a passionate, lustful love. Which do you prefer?
Remember when we asked if lust was more important that emotional stability? Well, according to a new study, Spaniards say yes—and Hollywood is to blame.
Researchers used a version of the Love Attitude Scale, a quiz that asks people to describe how much they agree with various descriptions of love. Love Buzz found several versions of the quiz online. They include statements like "If you are going to love a person, you will 'know' after a short time" and "I could get over an affair with my partner pretty easily and quickly."
The quiz shows how much you accept six types of love: Eros, Pragma, Banquet, Mania, Ludus and Storge. Yes, they sound like exotic birds or rivers in Greece, but they actually refer to various ways people think about the big l-o-v-e. Your values depend on your personality, and, to a large extent, on the culture you were brought up in.
Eros is passionate, physical, lustful love—the kind that gives you butterflies in your stomach and a tingling in certain other places.
Pragma is a practical love. People who conceive of love this way are pragmatic (you didn't see that one coming, didja?) when looking for a partner. They choose their mate based on rational decisions about whom they fit best with.
Banquet is love that expresses itself through altruism, or making sacrifices for another person.
Mania is an obsessive love that, while intimate and intense, often includes jealousy, possessiveness and a lack of communication. Maniacal love can lead to domestic violence.
Ludus is love that's a game. A Ludic lover wants to have fun, but doesn't necessarily want a serious relationship.
Storge is friendship-based love. A Storge lover wants a companion who shares her likes and dislikes and who can form a long relationship based on closeness, trust, security and affection.
Eighty percent of Spaniards agreed with the Eros characterization of love. Banquet came in second—70 percent agreed that it was acceptable. Pragma and Storge were right behind, accepted by just over half of respondents.
The study's director said that Hollywood is to blame for the prominence of Eros. "Cinema has created many myths, and has made us believe things that are not real," she said. In reality "passion dwindles, and life in a couple is a transactional game in which one has to overcome frictions. The movies end when the real stories are about to begin."
Which kind of love do you value most?
Discussion
My boyfriend and I are storge. All my life, I thought I was an eros, and dated eros-es, but then I met my current sweetheart. I had a stormy relationship past, but now, I am so happy and so stable in my relationship with him that I believe I was a storge all along, just misguided by the media I watched back then. I love being a storge. :) It is very satisfying in all ways, and neither of us thinks we are better than the other, so we are equal. The only difficulty right now is financial, but even that is quickly being repaired.
This article is silly. I was a psych major in college when I first read about this research. Only then it included the observation that pragma and ludic were the least likely to stay married and storge was only topped by eros for long term fidelity. From the tone of this article you'd think that Spaniards were crazy for being duped by Hollywood into believing in a fantasy love that can't possibly be real when it is not only real, but stable. Eros isn't just passion and lust and physicality, it is also romance. Something that is noticeably absent from the other kinds of love except agape, oh excuse me, banquet. Real science writers can write perky too...
I guess I'd be Storge seeing as every boyfriend I've had was a friend first. But I also have a splash of Eros, I think most people do. But really, I don't think that butterflies and tingling are the only way of knowing you're in love. There are a lot of other factors that go into it.
Yes! I absolutely agree with Seaman! But I honestly didn't feel that way until recently...have always been more of the Eros type hehehe. Unfortunately after the passion wears out, then what have we got? I definitely like the idea of a Storge followed by Eros much better :)
Of course, we all want to believe we are Eros. After all, who doesn't want to think of themselves as being in a romantic and lusty relationship? But I know plenty of couples who are Pragma and Storge (who probably wouldn't want to admit it) and they are perfectly content and very stable.
I believe that most all romantic relationships begin with the Eros kind of love, which is fueled by the chemicals that are being released in your body. When those chemicals subside and return to normal, if you stay together, and one or both of you don't go hunting for that "falling in love" feeling, then you fall into Storge or Banquet.
Best Wishes
I would like to add a little something to searchingwithin's comments. For me, there have been times when the Eros came later. But, what about maturity? Does anyone else think that that's an issue? If you're somewhat immature, you may want to keep looking for greener grass, or something new and shiny, after the highs are gone. And I'll add something else. Even if the relationship is good, Storge or Banquet, wanting something new and shiny is hurtful. I believe that's a sign of immaturity. Thoughts?
Sure. Wanting something new, especially without ever attempting to keep what you have no, doesn't help and can be a sign of problems other than just immaturity.
Thinking of something new every now and then, or the small fantasy of something new every once in a great while I believe is natural. Temptations come and go through out a long term relationship, but they aren't reasons for ending one.
This reminds of a movie I went to see with a friend who was an on-again-off-again lover. It was a hollywood
Rom-Com, Must Love Dogs. My friend is very much about the Hollywood version of Romance and Love, that it is just supposed to happen, and that it will solve everything. She asked if I thought the premise of the movie was real, her eyes all dreamy and full of stars. She didn't care for my answer.
"In the premise of where these characters are at in their lives in the movie; 2 people that have identities, have had long-term relationships, have a direction in their lives already, I can see a lustful, passionate start in a relationship grow into something more. The story is still Hollywood Hype, but in this case their is a small chance of success. I'd say in 99% of the Hollywood Romance films, its a case of Rome-and-Juliet-itis; A couple of young kids that don't have enough experience to fully understand or process what they are going through."
Needless to say, it tapped into quite a few issues that she is working on, but basing a long term relationship or your happiness on lust is dangerous. Lust is very addictive, and its not to say that there is something wrong with it, but you need to eventually understand what it really means to you and your long term plans for yourself.
