5 Funny Sex Injuries
A Chinese woman who went deaf from kissing and other funny sex injuries.
Kissing is supposed to be safe: You're not going to get an STI. You're not giving up your lady-flower. Unless you're kissing a vampire, the worst that's gonna happen is the awkward I-have-to-breathe-but-I-don't-wanna-pull-away feeling... right? Wrong. Apparently kissing can make you go deaf.
That's right: a smooch can kill your hearing, and one Chinese woman recently suffered just this fate. Luckily she'll be able to hear again in two months, but for now, her boyfriend's apologies will fall on dead ears.
According to the woman's doctor, "the kiss reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear." That's one passionate smacker! Physicians in China have warned people to "proceed with caution."
All this got us wondering: what other injuries do people suffer in the name of love? Apparently a lot! Aside from the normal bruises and scrapes (and, of course, STIs), watch out that you don't…
1. Rupture blood vessels in your eye during an intense orgasm. Read: 10 Surprising Orgasm Facts
2. Accidentally swallow the condom during oral sex. Read: The Etiquette of Oral Sex
3. Break his penis (or yours). It's called a penis fracture, and you'll know if it happens because you'll hear a pop or a snap.
4. Insert something in your rectum that you can't, um, un-insert. Read: How To Avoid Anal Accidents
5. Get too up close and personal with a Jacuzzi. You could end up with air in your abdomen, which is not healthy.
We're sure these injuries weren't funny when they happened, but we get a kick out of reading about them now!
Discussion
Your article made me remember Allison's monologue from Dr.House series:
"Sex could kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, and secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent, it's ugly and it's messy, and if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun, the human race would have died out eons ago"
signature: if God had meant for people to not play with sex toys, he would have made all our arms shorter.
My boyfriends lower leg popped out if its socket when we were having sex, at the time, from the cracking,ripping noise, we thought he tore his acl, but he just popped his leg back in place and it was better.
haha sooo funny
I have had an orgasm-induced headache once. Really kills the afterglow . . .