Your Tiny Boobs: Blame 'Em On Your Morning Joe


Your Tiny Boobs: Blame 'Em On Your Morning Joe
Coffee is the reason for your small breast size.

Finally, an explanation for why  I'm as flat-chested as a 10-year-old boy: my copious coffee consumption.

Blame Starbucks!  Blame Starbucks!  (Sung to the tune of  "Blame Canada" on South Park.)


Swedish researchers discovered drinking lots of coffee reduces the size of a women's breasts. (Don't researchers study anything important anymore, like a cure for AIDS?)  The main researcher looked at the data which says large-breasted women are more likely to be diagnosed with breast cancer and that drinking three cups of coffee per day decreases breast cancer risk.  According to the Glasgow Daily Record, the Swedish studies unearthed a link between small-breasted women who possess a certain gene and coffee consumption.

The chief concologist of the study assures us:

"They will get smaller but the breasts aren't just going to disappear."

But she added: "Anyone who thinks they can tell which women are coffee drinkers just from their bra measurements will be disappointed.

"The problem is that there are two measures for a bra - the cup size and the girth, so you wouldn't be able to tell."

Good thing that the myth of all men drooling over large boobs is just that: a myth.  Us tiny-cup-sizes can keep on snarfing our mocha frappucinos with wild abandon!