Cheers to another lazy, summery Sunday afternoon. I was laying back and sipping on some chilled Riesling today on the deck in my parents' backyard with my best guy friend, Esco today when I realized something. I've been so boy-crazy lately that I forgot how much fun a platonic relationship with a man is. No humping, no flirting, no tension—just chilling. And bitching about the opposite sex, which is fun since you get a fresh point of view and all of these new defense tactics that men like to employ.
It's ironic because I'm on such defense mode when I meet new guys that I immediately try to make them my "friend" when in reality, real friendship doesn't just happen like that. My real platonic guy friends (I have about three) are quality. They're also relationship types so I get to study them and take note of how wonderful/obnoxious/odd their habits are.
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Lord knows I've never had a problem voicing my opinion, so when I do offer commentary on their issues, it's hard to close the flood gates. One of my friends, Preston—who is a handsome, witty, 25 year old novelist (a hell of a catch if I do say so myself)—recently went through some drama with a chick he's been seeing for about a month. I invited him over to my place and promised him some chocolate chip pancakes as a comfort blanket while he spilled his guts about the big fall out they had.
I know it's kind of wrong to say this, but I'm glad he had this problem because as he was explaining all the details to me, it secured my theory that there are good guys out there. There are guys who, when they find a girl they are crazy about, will drop all their player tendencies and just revel in her company, her body and her soul. Can I go on preaching?
There are men out there who will forgive a woman when she's made a mistake instead of kicking her to the curb, who won't shy away from assuming the role of protector. There are sexy, smart, ambitious men out there who will embrace their women's intellect, her curves, her flaws and her emotions.
"That's it," Preston said to me on the pancake night, "I'm officially fed up. I'm going back to the way I was in college. I'm not going to be as open any more—it just messes up everything."
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My eyes widened. "No! Hell no. You didn't come this far to just revert back to player status. No good can come of that." I secretly questioned myself though, since at this point in time, my dating situation is no different than college, minus all that weed smoking.
It took me about three more hours, but I finally convinced him that these experiences happen to teach us things—not just about relationships and love—but about ourselves and what we want out of life. It sounded like a lot of hokey, even to me, but I think he bought it because he left my apartment in a calmer state.