Should I Take His Last Name?
Whether to take a man's last name becomes an issue of implants and ego.
Should a woman take her husband's last name? What about him taking her name? How many syllables are appropriate for a hyphenation? Also, what to do if you are on vacation during a military coup. Watch On The Couch for real-life opinions on the name game.
Discussion
I always wanted to keep my name and hopefully he would take mine, but I ended up with an only child, named after his father, who longs for his child to be ___ the third - how can I say no to that? Plus, I don't want to have a different name than my own kids, but I love my last name and don't want to lose it. I also don't want to have a long, drawn out and arrogant hyphenated name. I don't think there's any hope for me!
We are lucky to be able to have this discussion. Were you aware that in at least one North American jurisdiction the ability to choose your last name at marriage is denied to women?
In the province of Québec, Canada, women are required to retain their maiden surname at marriage and are referred to by their maiden surname on all legal paperwork even if it is not their legal surname, for example if they were married in another province and legally changed their name (to their spouse's name, to a hyphenated name, or even retain the name of a former spouse).
In their attempt to "fight the patriarchy" and advance the cause of feminism, the Québec provincial government has violated one thing feminists have fought for decades to achieve and what we are discussing here: the right to choose.
Crazy n'est ce pas? (Crazy isn't it)
In all seriousness, I think it's nice to share a last name with your spouse, but you spend your whole life up until marriage establishing your own good name -- especially when it comes to your career. In journalism, medicine, even education and so forth- you work to create and maintain credibility and a good reputation. It must be hard to give that all up... Anyone with me on this?
Almost all Filipinos take the last name of their husband when they get married,for example: Maria Nenita Concepcion Gonzalez-Mendietta.
The problem is it takes more longer to write.
Oh my god. That is the most retarded thing ever. Hyphanated names and a guy taking a girls name. Girls traditionally have the last name of a guys given to them to show a conjointment under the eyes of god. The last name thing is just a part of women wanting to stand out. In my opinion, they just look like idiots trying to do so. Or better yet, don't get married. a ring and a piece of paper mean nothing anyways. Personality and the word "NO" shows committment.
im sorry, but the arguement gets out of hand when it complicates things with hyphens and such. its a tradition, a last name isnt something worth argueing over, but if its for the empowerment of women, its the last place to start. instead of argueing over something as trivial as whos name to take, concentrate on equal pay or something productive. if a women wont take my name then lets get rid of every tradition, then she can pay for her own dinner, flowers etc. chivalry sucks. who needs tradition
This is great advice, NOT!
Do you really want to live in a world where 4 generations from now everyone has 8 last names?? Think about it you egotistical libs and fems and recognize the practicality of only having one. Spare your kids the embarrassment and save them from having to fill out 15 scan-tron forms before every test just to fit their name on it!
p.s. this video was so selectively edited to push an agenda that the maker would have a great career in proliferating propaganda.
We live in the 21st century; not in the 14th. Tradition is becoming less and less appropriate now adays.
And that is a sad thing because of that we ( as people )are losing our traditions for what ever we want to do..That is why the family system is falling down the drain and grandparents are sent to old folk homes..instead of by the families..sad times we live in..
Right, so should we also lose the tradition of free speech? Just war? Virtue?
And secondly, do you really think that taking the man's name would devolve us back to the 14th century?
There are some traditions that if lost would mean the destruction of our civilization.
Do you happily applaud the destruction of other peoples cultures?
I see what you are saying, but I was meaning religion tradition. I heart free speech like know other and I praise it's use of it.
The thing about the man being the leader is a tradition from old times and goes much further back in time. But that is a whole other story.
I do think that much of culture is just a distraction, and most does nothing or little to "Enhance" life.
I want to give towards the future, so modernism and human spirituality our top priority.
I'm sorry if that sounds rash.
It doesn't sound rash, it sounds misguided and like you don't speak English as your native language.
Now, explain how culture distracts us from "enhancing" life? If anything, it is the absence of culture and belonging that leads to an empty, hedonistic, materialistic life.
You talk about "spirituality" being a top priority as if it's not a cultural aspect. You're just rediscovering your desire to tap back into your Asian roots, and that's fine. But don't criticize Europe's in the process.
First, I love how you think I'm Asian.
Second, third, and forth, Europe is not being critised, it does not distract from enhancing(you may have misread what I have wrote), by spirituality, I mean mental inner workings of the mind.
Fifth, I said most: NOT ALL. And what you say is true about the fact that no culture in the world will indefinitely lead to boring lifestyle. Again NOT ALL.
But on the other hand I believe that EVERYONE can do whatever they want that does not hurt society,eg Killing.
i think a woman doesnt ned to take her man's last name bcuz that's not important, that does not affect how they love each and the real reason they got married.
Just wanted to share an interesting article that I was reading about how more men are taking their wives' last names. It cost the groom about $350 to change his name legally, which couldn't have gone worse for the couple. The article explained how even three months after their wedding, they still found themselves explaining why and what they have done. I guess it's not easy to change tradition. Keep the comments coming, thanks guys!
Often I've heard that if a bride doesn't wish to take her husband's last name, then she shouldn't be concerned if the husband doesn't wear his wedding band.
i think he should .-. the last name is one thing, but the ring shows commitment, the last name, you cant really tell if your taken or not, you dont know if its the ladies real last name or if its her own last name
xD
lol not going against you, just stating my opinion.
Yes to your first question.
As to men taking women's last names I think they may be confused about how a man reciprocates a woman taking his last name at marriage.
A man reciprocates a woman taking his last name by giving her his last name.
It's a man's way of saying that he wants to share part of his identity with his wife and everything that entails - an sign of devotion.
Taking a man's name doesn't mean he owns his wife any more than he owns his children - or parents - for that matter.
