Some people are built to be sappy. My sister, for instance—her turn-ons include romantic comedies, diamonds, flowers, snuggling, and babies. An elaborate wedding proposal involving a Jumbotron, an adorable monkey in a tuxedo, and enough carats to restrict normal finger mobility would completely kill with her. If you are one of those people, then this article is not for you.
Everyone else, listen up: When it comes to the lovey-dovey stuff, you are not nearly as punk rock as you pretend to be. Yeah, I know, nobody wants to be in one of those gross couples that makes single people gag, but deep down inside, I bet you like doing some of that touchy-feely junk. Snuggling. Giggling. The occasional sweet nothing. Well, it's time to own up to it. Stop living a lie. By continuing to deny your mushy side, you're only hurting yourself. It's not easy, I know. But I can help, because I did it.
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Let me share my coming-out story with you. My personal distaste for the tradition-ally romantic has mostly centered on gifts. There's something crass about popular images of couples-type giving, a kind of money-equals-love formula that I find icky. Like in those diamond ads where the message is always something along the lines of "Don't be fooled, at heart all women are grasping, materialistic harpies." Plus they always feature dudes buying stuff for their ladies, and never the reverse, so there's an air of anti-feminism about the whole thing.
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