After dismounting your partner's white stallion, Thundersnow, the two of you enjoy a candlelit meal of champagne and strawberries in the manicured organic garden next to the orphanage and motorcycle-repair shop he runs.
Your crystal flute empty, he immediately gives you a massage, until he's overcome by your beauty. His bulging triceps—though he's a wealthy philanthropist, he keeps in shape by working as a mailman, pool boy, and plumber—ripple as he tenderly, lovingly, emotionally rips off the size-two bodice you bought on sale.
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And then, just when things are getting really good… your Tequila-addled boyfriend accidentally falls off the futon.
That kind of scenario may not play a regular part in your sex life—but chances are some sort of fantasizing does. Even if you and your partner don't typically dress up like household laborers or teenage wizards, you no doubt both use your sexual imaginations on a regular basis.
From picturing the hottie in Accounts Payable naked, to role-playing, to thinking about other people or circumstances while masturbating or having sex, people often use fantasies to augment their lovemaking.
In fact, there are women who can achieve orgasm merely by conjuring that philanthropist/mailman/pool boy/plumber in their heads. (Seriously. And they're being studied.) Even if you're not blessed with that ability, research has shown that women's orgasms are in some ways more tied to mental gymnastics than to anything that's happening in the physical world.
"In women, the vast majority of sex is going on in their minds," explains Dr. Anita H. Clayton, a professor in the Department of Psychiatric Medicine at the University of Virginia and author of an upcoming book about the relationship between sex and the psyche. "So we can be easily distracted or shift into another set of feelings very quickly."
Fantasizing is clearly an important component to any sex life. So it's equally important that you get over any concerns you may have that a tendency to fantasize means there's something missing in reality.
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