Sure, a great rubdown can put anyone in the mood—but if getting your partner's kinks out is always about seduction, you’re missing out on a powerful bonding experience.
By exploring each other's needs through the selfless act of massage, you can learn how to make each other melt, physically and emotionally.
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"Massage is about giving and receiving," explains Dr. Deborah Musso, director and founder of Sea Change New York, a Manhattan wellness center. "With massage you gain a whole new understanding of how to create intimacy: Set a sacred space, let go of tension, and go from a state of defense to a place that's safe." Happy Ending Massage for Women: One Woman's Tale
Gordon Inkeles, author of The New Sensual Massage and other books on the subject, urges couples to "rediscover the tactile possibilities" of the body, since most people reserve touching for the so-called "erogenous zones"—only five percent of the available territory.
Inkeles points to the ultra-sensitive scalp and feet as sensually deprived areas. He also suggests focusing on the areas that hold the most tension: For men, that's the lower back, and for women, the neck and shoulders.
"Be generous with your partner," Inkeles advises. "It costs nothing—you don't need a professional. If you spend time with your partner's body, you will get results."
Press firmly with one or two hands on muscular areas of the body and make a circular motion. On large areas, use the heel of the hands or the flat part of your knuckles in addition to the fingertips. Once you master this, your partner will begin to trust your abilities—and to relax.
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Next: Circulation, friction, and more...
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