Know that emoji that’s smiling and has hearts for eyes? That’s me.
If there’s one single characteristic that’s carried me through every terrible date, bitter break-up, sleeping with my ex and trying my damndest to not give up on this elusive thing called love, it’s my optimism.
Know that emjoi that’s smiling and has hearts for eyes? That’s me.
More than anything else I value in a future partner — and in myself — is a person’s ability to see the bright side of things and to put others before himself to bring a bit more happiness into the world. I've been called a little naive before and that I look through rose-colored glasses, but what can I say? I like the view from here! It’s positive, encouraging, and keeps me keepin’ on.
So if you're planning to be with me, here's a few things you should know in advance:
1. I don’t understand — or tolerate — constant negativity.
I’ve had a few boyfriends who were so incredibly draining that they put me in a bad head space. I noticed it — and so did my friends and family — and it was a big reason why those relationships ultimately ended. Don’t get me wrong: I can be negative sometimes, too, but I'm really quick to snap out of it. Men who want to consistently complain, gripe, put themselves and everyone else down, and overall be a grouch are utterly exhausting to me.
2. I have an insane amount of energy.
Not only do I rock that weekday work groove, but I also freelance, manage my blog, walk my dog, sweat it out at five workout classes, meet my friends for dinner, go on a date or two, check-off my errands, pay my bills, balance my savings account and squeeze in a facial or a mani/pedi … every week. And yes, I do sleep but I don’t need much of the Zzz's. I like to live a lot of life, see all that I can and experience every moment. So have your Netflix binge but the next day, we’re totally going kickboxing.
3. I can't walk past a baby, a puppy, or a pretty blue sky.
Trust me, I've tried. I see the baby coming in it’s stroller or wobbling on those chunky toddler legs and I know the mature thing to do is to just keep walking, but then those cheeks smile at me and I’m DONE for. Same goes for a puppy and for a clear blue sky with puffy clouds. (That 'Rise' Instagram filter is always my go-to!)
4. I'm very sensitive.
I'm not very good at sarcasm. I think it’s funny, but I’m not fluent and sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable. I also don’t respond well when someone can’t think of anything to say that’s kind or they’re stuck in a downward-piraling negativitiy rut. The only downward I really approve is downward dog. Namaste.
5. Making you happy is a huge priority for me.
It’s a habit that’s hard to break, but one I know you’ll like: I’m going to surprise you with so many things. Like your favorite breakfast when you wake up or that dress you'll want to claw off of me. Or tickets to your favorite band. Or a note tucked in your coat pocket.
6. I need you to be attentive and animated in bed.
Seriously — dudes who are quiet in bed? It creeps me out. Make some noise, sweets. Tell me what you want. Show me. Trust me, I’m listening, I’m excited and I’m eager.
7. I volunteer for too many things.
I need to learn to put my hand down and relax instead of being first to lead something. It's just, well, I want to be part of everything. I hope you'll help me be a follower sometimes.
8. I don’t freak out often but when I do, it's intense.
Like any addict, when I’ve had too much of my optimism drug and suddenly find myself feeling negative, I come crashing down. It’s messy, it’s snotty, it’s those big splashy tears and red-faced sighs that’ll make you think I’m having a panic attack. I’m not — I’m just getting it all out so I can get back to being that perky babe you love. Bear with me.
9. I don’t see life half-full, I see it overflowing with champagne.
10. I don’t just like romance; I expect it.
No, you don’t need to shower me with roses (tulips are fine), tell me I’m beautiful every waking second of every day (but like, a few times a week?) or read me poetry (unless it’s e.e. cummings) ... but I won’t hate it if you do. And if you stop romancing me, I’ll probably notice and ask if the bodega stopped selling the $10 bouquets...
11. I do things without expecting much in return because it makes me happy.
I engage in acts of kindness just to make people believe a little bit more in the magic of the universe. Nothing more or less. It's cheesy, but very sincere.
12. I believe in signs.
Like that time I asked for a sign that love was coming and my ‘Love Never Fails’ plaque in my room came crashing down in the middle of the night a few hours later. Or right before something big happened in my life, I found a shiny penny. They’re everywhere! (And yes, I’ll be pointing them out to you.)
13. I won’t give up on you, me or us.
Because that’s just not in my vocabulary or my belief system. The best is always yet to come, no matter how great the good is now. So we might have our bad times, we may struggle, we may fight, we and will likely not always get along but through it all, the eternal optimist in me will never let us forget those two crazy kids who had enough faith in themselves to fall in love.
Lindsay Tigar is a writer, editor, and blogger living in New York City. She started her popular dating blog, Confessions of a Love Addict, after one too many terrible dates with tall, emotionally unavailable men (her personal weakness) and is now developing a book about it, represented by the James Fitzgerald Agency. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.