Shireen Dadkhah is a freelance writer and frequent contributor to YourTango.
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A best friend is not a person, it’s a level of friendship.
By Shireen Dadkhah — Written on Jul 25, 2019
I used to agonize when I was younger over who was officially my best friend. Who got the title? Whose feelings would I hurt if I called Ashley my best friend instead of Lindsay?
As I’ve gotten older and marginally wiser, I’ve realized that limiting myself to just one best friend is unnecessary. As Mindy Lahiri says, "A best friend is not a person — it’s a level of friendship."
Every friendship has its own purposes and serves different needs. But the BFF level comes with its own special love language. One that may look a bit, well... strange to those on the outside. But for those on the inside? It’s just standard behavior.
Here are 10 things best friends do that may be epic weirdness to others, but are completely normal.
1. We snuggle.
As much as I like my personal space, I also love a good snuggle. Because I live alone and I'm single, if it weren’t for my best friend I could go months without another person touching me, but she makes sure I don't go without human touch.
It’s gotten to the point now that her husband knows when I come over, he’s going to find us in a best friend pretzel on the couch at some point. Neither of us have any problem sleeping and cuddling in the same bed together. In fact, we recently went to a photography conference together and woke up holding hands.
2. We share every mundane detail of our lives.
Seriously, no detail is too small. Want to tell me everything you did from the moment you woke up until I picked up this phone? No problem. Because I know my best friends are down to listen while I describe every nuance of my almost-but-not-quite interaction with the hot guy with the man bun.
3. We fold each other's underwear.
The BFF and I had one of our first big conversations while she folded her underwear. One weekend while I was housesitting for them, after I did my own laundry, I decided to do theirs as well, complete with underwear folding.
I know most of what goes on with those bits anyway (see number #2), so clean skivvies don't scare me.
4. We blow up each other's phones 24/7.
Normally, if you blow up my phone with 30 text messages, I’m going to be annoyed. But if it’s one of the BFFs? No big deal. Sometimes you have a lot of feelings and need to get it all out.
5. We groom each other.
I judge the level of my friendships by the people who are willing to point out my random stray chin hairs. Those suckers grow overnight and will sneak up on even the most meticulous groomer. In my experience, best friends also aren’t afraid to point out if I’ve got a little something in my teeth.
6. We stock our homes with each other's favorite foods.
True friendship is stocking your BFF’s favorites in your house, even if you don’t like them. Knowing your best’s favorites makes movie and road trip snack buying a cinch.
Knowing she’s got a fridge with a couple of frosty Diet Cokes waiting for me anytime I decide to randomly come over just sweetens our friendship.
7. We borrow each other's stuff so often we forget who it really belongs to.
Is the margarita machine yours or mine? Who knows. Personal property lines get blurred with best friends. You’re not afraid to loan out your GPS when she takes a roadtrip, or your super-pricey mascara if she has a fancy event to attend.
My BFF and I are both photographers and neither of us bat an eye at swapping out our equipment when one of us needs what the other has. What’s mine is hers, and what’s hers is mine.
8. We raise each other's children.
They say it takes a village to parent children. My village includes my BFFs. I’ve been known to "middle name" their kids when necessary, which is the universal sign that you mean business.
And the kids in my best friend's village know they can get grounded by Aunt Shireen just as quickly as they can from mom.
9. We send each other "fat face" photos.
Some days you just need to send 20 or so fat face photos back and forth via text or Snapchat. She’s already seen me at my emotional worst, so sending her photos of me from my worst angle with the most chins I can muster? Well, that’s the price of my friendship.
10. We have telepathic powers.
Standard etiquette in a polite society dictates a “hello” when answering the phone. Those rules fall out the window when it’s the bestie calling. Most of the time we just pick back up on whatever conversation we were having last time we spoke.
The BFF telepathy is especially helpful when you’re out in public; one look can get you out of an awkward conversation, or a shared eye roll conveys paragraphs worth of conversation.
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