6 Little Traits Of People Who Cannot Be Manipulated
Deception does not exist for these people.
perinjo | Canva I’d love to say we live in a world in which everyone is totally honest, and no one is out to deceive you intentionally. If this were true, we’d all be living on Neptune. People have motives that require you to stumble for them to win. It can be dog-eat-dog out there. But there are things I’ve learned we can do to reduce the risk of being deceived or manipulated by others.
Here are 6 traits of people who cannot be manipulated:
1. They value integrity over getting approval from other people
Wanting to be liked is a very human trait that gets a lot of people in trouble. Needing validation puts you in a precarious position. Why? Because the actions of other people determine your happiness and even behaviors. People immune to deception value integrity, truth, and honesty over this insatiable need to be liked. As such, they are OK to say things that not everyone wants to hear, and they are willing to hear things from others that don’t always feel good. They look beyond ‘niceness’ in others, knowing that this can often be a ruse to misdirect them from what’s going on.
2. They observe actions, not words
Manipulation thrives in the thick, shady world of words, verbal promises, and labels. Words are only ever approximations of the truth; in many cases, they act as misdirections. Follow people’s actions, not what they say. Manipulatable people underestimate the power of accurate observation — that which is rooted in what people do, not what they say they’ll do.
3. They accept the darker side of human nature
You needn’t become cynical to understand that not everything is rosy about human behavior. You are far more susceptible to falling prey to deceptions when you are unwilling to see things for what they are. People are OK with stepping on others to win. People are willing to kill if they can get away with it. People are willing to scam you if they can get away with it. Others will find it extremely difficult to manipulate someone who knows it happens, accepts it, learns about how it works, and is conscious of it when it does happen.
4. They listen beyond words
We’re all communicating with one another at multiple levels. Many miss this because we’re too focused on what others are saying. The truly perceptive, often to the degree that others think they have special powers, listen beyond the words. They open themselves up to deeper meaning, often conveyed through body language, that many can miss.
Most people aren’t even listening to the words — they are too busy thinking of clever things to say next. No wonder they are easily deceived — they are in their worlds and self-absorbed. Those who can’t be messed with bring their full attention to other people. Focusing externally like this also ensures we remain calm and in the zone.
5. They have emotional control
Those who are easily triggered are easily manipulated. Read that again. Why? Because when we act on our emotions, we no longer think and behave rationally. We’re at the mercy of what others say and do, which is a precarious place from which to operate.
Those who have developed the ability within them to remain calm and to see things for what they are cannot be swayed. They bring complete, unclouded awareness to their interactions. They can see what others can’t because they are conscious. Remaining calm regardless of one’s situation is a practice and one that will improve with time.
6. They're independent yet connected
Those who more easily get swept up in social trends, cultural biases, and societal programming are susceptible to manipulation. People who nurture independence and push back against the continual and subtle influence of society’s drive for them to conform are far less likely to be brainwashed or deceived. Keeping a distance keeps the mind sharp, but at the same time, you don’t want to separate yourself from society too visibly because you can become a target. Better to hide in plain sight, staying close to the pulse of society, so you’re intimate with how things work — that way, you’re always one step ahead.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.