Why Some People Don't Want To Be In A Relationship
It's okay to not be the relationship type, and there are many reasons why you might not want to be in a relationship.
People often make a big deal about someone who is not the “relationship type,” but I have been single for a while now, and I enjoy nothing more than my freedom.
Not the relationship type? Well, trust me, you are not the only one.
Society assumes that being in a relationship is necessary to be happy. The funny thing about labels and commitments is that they tie you down. Don’t let societal pressure get to you because many people are in a relationship just for the sake of it. People are constantly judged for not being the “relationship type,” thanks to false stereotypes. But the truth is, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being in a relationship.
Honestly, it can be a great feeling and give you the freedom to enjoy yourself. Here are a few reasons why it’s OK if you are not the relationship type.
Why don't I want to be in a relationship?
Some people are afraid of commitment in a relationship because of experiences in their past that have led to deep trust issues or caused them to develop a fear of commitment. They may be scared to allow themselves to be vulnerable to someone because they don't want to get their heart broken again.
Whatever your reason, people who believe they can help someone with commitment issues by giving them enough time or love, or think they can make a relationship work by changing a person's mind, have it all wrong. That doesn't work.
People will only change themselves if they see a need for it. That can be hard for those with a commitment issue to see that need in other people, making them want to try and commit to a relationship again.
If you have commitment issues or want to stay single but still go out and date people, you can do so by being very upfront with potential partners you date. It's important to let them know you aren't looking for anything long-term or even a relationship.
Here are six reasons it’s totally OK if you don't want to be in a relationship.
1. Different people have different needs.
Since I’m usually single, I’ve heard many snide comments that naturally upset me. I started feeling like I needed a relationship just to put an end to the criticism. Perhaps your current views regarding relationships will change over time, but it's still okay even if they don’t.
I realized I was never happy in a relationship. I was not excited about doing activities together or doing something I didn’t enjoy. And this fact isn’t a bad thing. All it says is that I have different priorities in life as compared to others around me.
2. Protecting your well-being may mean your happiness has to come first.
People are often too curious about why someone is not in a relationship. But as long as you are happy, that’s all that matters. No matter what the reason is, nobody should judge you for it.
You may be successful in your career now and prefer to be committed to it. Or maybe romantic relationships are too much work for you, and the emotional aspect does not interest you. There is no need to feel that you need to change your preferences to fit a social profile.
3. Your fear of being tied down may be based on trauma you still need to work through.
This exists within all of us — the fear of being tied down. However, only a few of us are vocal about it.
A relationship terrifies me to the point of calling it quits. Commitment issues are real, and they can tear relationships apart. So be clear about what you want from the beginning, and you will be safe.
Take care of your mental health, and don't let others make you feel bad if you're struggling with commitment issues. As someone who is not the relationship type, I have been there, and I realized that spending time with myself was something I preferred to being with others.
4. You are your priority.
Think about when you would relax, either by yourself or with friends and family. You would watch your favorite TV show in your comfy jammies and not have a care in the world, or shop for hours and eat at your favorite diner.
Many of these things disappear in a relationship because priorities change. And that is a big red signal for me. I want to be my priority and be able to do what I want at any time of the day.
5. You know you would cheat.
If you are committed to someone, it’s not ideal for flirting with others. If you are always looking for someone else or flirting and cheating on your partner, the relationship loses its meaning (unless you’ve agreed to an open relationship).
It’s better to be single and have the opportunity to flirt or get together with whomever you want instead of cheating on your partner and then feeling guilty about it.
Nobody can question you otherwise if you are honest about what you want. Whether you want to be in a serious, committed relationship or keep your dating life super-casual, is completely up to you.
6. Your career comes first.
For some of us, our foremost priority is our career, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Not everyone has to be in a relationship and it’s okay to instead shift your focus to something you are more passionate about. It is important to always do what you love, whether that’s work or play. By forcing yourself into a relationship, you can hinder the pleasure that work gives you.
People often make a big deal about someone who is not the “relationship type,” but I have been single for a while now, and there is nothing I enjoy more than my freedom.
Life is ultimately about being happy, so instead of worrying about what others think, strive to focus on the things that feel right to you. Even if that means doing your own thing.
Is there something wrong with me if I don't want a relationship?
It's totally normal if you don't want to be in a relationship, because not everyone does. If someone doesn't want to be in a relationship, they call themselves single and let others know they want to stay that way.
It's not weird to say so; in fact, it's normal to be single at any point in your life and still not want a relationship or real commitment.
If you're questioning how to say you don't want a relationship, simply tell the person that you're happy to keep it casual, and you aren't currently ready for any commitment.
If someone says they don't want to be in a relationship, that's exactly what they mean. They don't want a relationship because they want to stay single. It's as simple as that.
Nisha Baghadia has written many articles on fitness, wellness, and beauty. She's a regular contributor to StyleCraze and other websites.