When I was single, I loved my life because I got to spend time with my friends, I had an great job and enjoyed some pretty cool career successes, and I got to go on dates with interesting, fun guys.
Yes, some men were duds. Yes, some dates were disasters. Yes, I even got DUMPED a few times in my day. So why didn't this take me down for the count? Because I didn't make these guysmy LIFE... I HAD a fabulous life and I was trying these guys out to see if they fit in it.
And one day, I found the man who did.
Yes, he's an amazing guy. Yes, I'm glad every day that I married him. But guess what? Marriage is not the end-all, be-all magical recipe for happiness either. I'm happy today in the same way that I've always been happy - because I still have those great friends I had in my single days (and some pretty wonderful new ones too!). I have an even BETTER job - connecting with, and helping - women like YOU - and I can't tell you how much fulfillment I get from that.
The relationship I have with my husband brings me joy beyond measure, but even on days when we're on each other's nerves, I still have my very own happiness that would be there if I were to become single tomorrow.
(This is the secret formula to keeping our marriage fresh and exciting too... because we have our own lives, we have more to share with one another.)
Penelope, I'm sorry that you're alone. I don't mean to make light of your loneliness. (I've been there myself, and it's not easy.) I'm sorry if I've come off to you as the head of the "Dating Without Drama" cheerleading squad - with a peppiness and positivity that seems too good to be true.
I just get excited because I KNOW that I've discovered the secret to achieving the dating life of your dreams, and I just want to scream it from the rooftops so women don't have to suffer through painful, confusing, and dramatic relationships anymore.
I DO believe that every woman deserves love - YOU included - and that old wounds and insecurities CAN be healed to make everyone capable and worthy of a healthy, loving relationship.
You say that everyone tells you that "the guy will come." The thing is, Penelope, when you hold onto that negative, self-defeating attitude, he's probably NOT going to come. That's because you've closed yourself off and – whether you're conscious of it or not - are sending the signal "stay away." Men are just as afraid of rejection as women, and they are not going to approach you when you're giving off such an unapproachable vibe.
Albert Einstein once said, "The definition of insanity is repeating the same action over and over and expecting different results." You've been carrying around that "being single sucks" and "I'll never meet a man" attitude every day and the result is that you're alone.
Maybe it's time to try something different.