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Do You Deserve Love?

By Paige Parker. Posted on Aug 26th 2010.

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Dating dry spells.

Lousy blind dates.

More from YourTango: 10 Post-Breakup Decisions You're Sure to Regret

Saturday nights alone with your TiVo.

Being the only unattached woman at your friends' "couple-y" dinner party.

Sometimes, being single feels anything but fabulous. (I've been there. Trust me.)

But before you go getting down on yourself, you'll really want to read this article. It's all about the power of positive thinking and how keeping your attitude upbeat can actually attract love into your life just like a magnet!

Here’s a letter from a reader who's feeling down and more than a little bit skeptical, along with my reply explaining exactly how she can turn her life around by doing ONE SIMPLE THING.

READER COMMENT OF THE WEEK: "Some Women Don't Deserve Love"

"Paige,

Do you really believe every lady out here deserves healthy love?

There are plenty of needy, whiny, controlling women who I don't believe deserve to be in a loving relationship.

And I would LOVE to have a single gal out there tell me that she is enjoying her single-hood. But everybody who is telling me to "get out there and enjoy being single!" is married or in a relationship.

Who are YOU to tell me to pack my days with fun-filled activities and enjoy being single? YOU are married. What's so great about being single?

Yes, I am alone. No, I do not want to be alone. I am sick and tired of being told that the guy will come, that he's out there somewhere. How do you know that?

Of course, you could just be making all of this up. Who am I complaining to? You probably don't exist."

- Penelope

PAIGE'S DATING TIP: "A Negative Attitude About Being Single Will Keep You Single... Only Positivity Will Turn Your Dating Fate Around For Good!"

My response:

"Dear Penelope,

First things first - let me lay your skepticism to rest: I absolutely DO exist, I am a real woman (not a computer or a man!), and I genuinely care for you and every other reader who has invited me into her life to share my thoughts and experience on dating and relationships.

In fact, my only deep dark secret is that sometimes I write the Dating Dish while in my PJs. (I think better when I'm comfy!)

I can tell from your email that my focus on self-esteem building and affirmations as necessary steps to achieve healthy, drama-free relationships has hit a nerve with you.

First of all, you ask me if I really believe that every woman deserves healthy love.

My answer is yes, absolutely.

But this is where I think you're misunderstanding me: just because I say that every woman DESERVES healthy love doesn't mean that I think women are never RESPONSIBLE for unhealthy behavior.

The self-esteem exercises and affirmations I encourage are not meant to puff women up and make them think that they're perfect, blameless, and totally above doing their part to make a relationship work.

Quite the opposite.

This positive thinking is aimed at curing the very root cause of unhealthy behavior - INSECURITY.

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