Yeah, you had been out for a couple of drinks and you knew you had said too much already. But this one, this was the worst fight you've ever had and you are scared. You can't remember if it was you or he that said the "D" word first. But now that divorce is in the conversation, do you feel like it could really be over?
This is a critical time for you and your future. Speaking as a woman who is married 6 years now for the second time after a nearly 30 year first marriage, I can tell you that having a fight — a big one — can be the very best thing that can happen for the two of you.
Maybe you need to be a little scared. Maybe you have gotten a little lazy about your connection with your guy. Or maybe life is too busy, your career is chewing you up and spitting you out and you two barely speak to each other at either end of exhausting days. Marriages are being crushed in the mix of unemployment, under insurance and college grad kids that are living at home. Young working parents with school age kids, homework, boy scouts and music lessons and somehow paying for it all.
No wonder you are fighting. No wonder you think, "What was I thinking?" when you think about your wedding. Please don't give up! A frightening fight is a sure sign that hurtful things were said. I bet there was a bit of truth in what he said, even though it hurt like hell to hear it. If alcohol was involved, it may have gotten mean on top of hurt. Ouch. Help! My Boyfriend & I Always Argue
It's the worst thing ever to try to reconnect after all of that. You may think he should apologize and then when he does, you reject him with a snarky attitude. Or maybe it is you that is approaching him and he is being cold and unresponsive. Like I said...scary!
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