There are four types of communication styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive.
Which one are you?
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Take the following quiz to find out.
Mark each statement that describes you.
__I feel anxious, ignored, helpless, manipulated, angry at myself and/or others.
__Other people see me as a pushover and that I don’t know what I want or how I stand on an issue.
__If I get my own way, it is by chance.
__I am inhibited.
__I allow others to choose and make decisions for me.
__I am emotionally dishonest.
__Others feel guilty or superior and frustrated with me.
__I am indirect and deny myself.
__My underlying belief is that I should never make someone uncomfortable or displeased except myself.
__The outcome is that others achieve their goals at my expense. My rights are violated.
__I feel confused, unclear on how to feel, I'm angry but not sure why. Later I sometimes feel guilty.
__I manipulate others to choose my way.
__If I don’t get my way I'll make snide comments or pout and be the victim.
__Other people view me in an exchange as someone they need to protect themselves from and they fear being manipulated and controlled.
__I tend towards indirectness with the air of being direct.
__I am self-enhancing but not straight forward about it.
__In win-lose situations I will make the opponent look bad or manipulate it so I win.
__Others feel confused, frustrated, not sure who you are or what you stand for or what to expect next.
__I appear honest but underlying comments confuse the situation.
__My underlying belief is that I need to fight to be heard and respected. If that means I need to manipulate, be passive or aggressive, so be it.
__The outcome is that the goal is avoided or ignored as it causes such confusion or the outcome is the same as with an aggressive or passive style.
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__I choose and make decisions for others.
__I am brutally honest.
__Others view me in the exchange as angry, vengeful, distrustful and fearful.
__I am direct and forceful.
__I am self-enhancing and derogatory.
__Others feel humiliated, defensive, resentful and hurt around me.
__I'll participate in a win-lose situation only if I'll win.
__I demand my own way.
__I feel righteous, superior, and controlling; later I may feel guilty.
__My underlying belief system is that I have to put others down to protect myself.
__The outcome is usually that my goal is achieved at the expense of others. My rights are upheld but others are violated.