Pregnant Mom Of 4 Insists Dating Multiple People Has Made Her Marriage Stronger
Maybe love really is cursed by monogamy.
The concept and practice of polyamory have been around for ages, and with how progressive society has gotten in its thoughts and beliefs, polyamory seems a lot more common today than ever before — but how good is polyamory in practice?
One pregnant woman believes that dating other people has made her marriage with her husband stronger.
Alexis Watts, 28, from Central Valley, California, met her current husband, Christopher, at a swingers event after her first marriage fell apart.
Swinging is something that married couples or single people consent to where they look for multiple sexual partners in recreation.
“Something was missing” from her first relationship, so when Watts met 35-year-old Christopher, they had both agreed to keep their relationship open and date other people.
Fast forward and they have now been married for four years and are currently expecting their fourth child together, and she claims that polyamory is what keeps their relationship so strong.
Watts has had a boyfriend for two years.
Watts has been dating another man, who wishes to remain anonymous, for two years now, and she claims that her relationship with him helps her and her husband communicate better as well.
“My boyfriend meets needs my husband can't. For example, he's a therapist so we have deeper conversations,” she told DailyMail. “In fact, we weren't intimate for a very long time because our emotional connection was so strong.”
Watts believes that she had “more to give” and was “fighting polyamory” during her first relationship and that’s why she started swinging.
As a mental health therapist, she also wants to urge people out of the generalization that polyamory is all about having multiple sexual partners when it’s not about that at all.
“People think polyamory is about sex, but it isn't, it's about relationships and having more love to give,” she said. “We're not walking around in red heels and lipstick trying to take your partner, we only want consenting parties.”
People also think that those who participate in polyamory don’t get jealous, but Watts claims the exact opposite, saying that it even helps their relationship.
“We get jealous, we're human and it's a natural emotion,” she said. “It doesn't have to be a bitter and defensive emotion, it's how you deal with it that's important.”
“It's made us grow as we learn how to communicate around it,” she continued. “It's essential to identify what makes you jealous and what you need from your partner. It's quite therapeutic.”
They’ve set boundaries as well, saying that their family will always come first and that they won’t be having children with any of their partners either.
She pointed out that her boyfriend also has a wife and that they have no kids, but they have a relationship with Watts’ kids.
“My boyfriend is involved in my kid's lives but isn't responsible for them, he's more like a fun uncle,” she said. “Even his wife loves my kids and helps us look after them, she's so excited when I bring them round.”
Watts says that people don’t understand their lifestyle, but that she tries to explain it the best she can and uses social media to enlighten everyone.
Her family wasn’t on board at first, but after they knew it wasn’t a phase, they quickly supported her decision.
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.