Demi Lovato Changed Her Pronouns Because 'It Was Absolutely Exhausting' To Explain Using They/Them
Demi Lovato's choice of pronouns doesn’t negate or erase her identity as a non-binary person.
Tinseltown via Shutterstock / genphoto_art, GB Gardens and Jessica Aceret via Canva Demi Lovato announced that she’s reintegrating the use of she/her pronouns, in addition to using they/them pronouns. In an interview with GQ Hype Spain, Lovato explained the multifaceted reasons behind her decision.
The interview reveals why Demi Lovato changed her pronouns.
In the interview, Lovato explained she changed her pronouns because "it was absolutely exhausting" to explain using they/them pronouns.
“I constantly had to educate people and explain why I identified with those pronouns,” Lovato said. “I just got tired. But for that very reason, I know that it is important to continue spreading the word.”
Lovato’s exhaustion and frustration from being expected to educate others about her non-binary identity is a familiar experience for people who belong to marginalized communities. All too often, it falls on those with marginalized identities to make others comfortable while disseminating information that should be gathered by those who hold power.
Photo: @ddlovato / Instagram
Lovato was put in the position of teaching people about they/them pronouns when those people could have easily done that labor themselves. She was expected to constantly validate her own existence as a queer, nonbinary person — it’s no wonder she feels worn out.
In her Instagram bio, Lovato lists her pronouns as “they/them/she/her.” In a post from June 1st, Lovato wished her followers a “Happy Pride Month,” exclaiming, “I’m so happy to celebrate our LGBTQIA+ community, today and everyday!!”
Lovato’s inclusion of she/her pronouns doesn’t negate or erase her identity as a non-binary person.
She said as much herself, writing, “As a nonbinary queer person, I couldn’t be more proud to be a part of this community that is the epitome of resilience, excellence and joy.”
Photo: @ddlovato / Instagram
Lovato ended her Pride post with words of unwavering support and automatic acceptance. She concluded, “And for any and everyone navigating their sexual orientation and gender journey, know that you are all extraordinary and exactly who you’re supposed to be. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
In her interview with GQ Hype, Lovato touched on the challenges of existing in a society that insists on maintaining such a rigid gender binary. She said, “I face this every day. For example, in public toilets. Having to access the women’s bathroom, even though I don’t completely identify with it.”
She explained that certain bureaucratic, daily tasks highlight the constricting nature of a gendered world. “It also happens when filling out forms, such as government documents or any other where you have to specify your gender. You only have two options, male and female, and I feel like none of that makes sense to me.”
When Lovato came out as non-binary on her “4D With Demi Lovato” podcast in May 2021, she explained why she planned to use they/them pronouns.
“I feel this best represents the fluidity I feel in my gender expression and allows me to feel most authentic and true to the person I both know I am and still am discovering,” she said.
Choices anyone makes around gender identity are highly personal. Ultimately, it’s up to everyone as an individual to decide what makes them feel seen, safe, and understood. That Lovato has come to the conclusion of changing the pronouns she uses highlights exactly how fluid and nuanced gender is. Lovato’s vision for the future is more open, accessible, and inclusive. She holds onto hope that today’s rigid gender definitions will give way. “I think this has to change. Hopefully with time there will be more options.”
She ended her interview with GQ by stating, “The safe space that I have created in the industry is proof of the safe space that I have also created in my life. And I think that no matter what sector you are in, you have to be comfortable to evolve.”
Lovato’s own evolution is ongoing, one guiding her toward a fully-realized version of who she wants to be.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.